Gays steaming it up at
a Jersey sports bar, Oprah trendsetting with an episode on
sudden lesbianism, and a bit too much info from Tyra Banks re:
her colonoscopy
Isis,
before
The gays are bringing
the heartwarmth to the airwaves lately. Don't ask me why. Maybe
it's sweeps.
Now, in life, it's
always a mixed bag of stuff. All grown folks know this. A bit
of awesome happens for the queers in one corner of the globe
while at the same time something horrifying takes place
somewhere else. But it's weird, when you're paying attention to
the media and our little niche in it, how things seem to go in
waves. For a while all you'll see is doom: some new injustice
or embarrassment or asshole politician trying to make our lives
miserable with the help of his newfound friends from religions
he formerly demonized.
And then, without
warning, it's all smiles and love and cotton candy and glamour
shots and people in love with Adam Lambert. And there's no way
of predicting which way the tide will turn.
Take Isis, for example.
Maybe you saw her get eliminated a couple seasons ago on
America's Next Top Model
because, as the show's first transgender contestant, she
couldn't tuck the candy well enough to do a swimsuit shoot.
Don't laugh. Sometimes bulges ruin dreams.
But now Isis is a woman
on the outside like she always was on the inside. This is
thrilling news for anyone who has made her, in the words of
Tyra Banks, "the most Googled woman" in
Top Model
history. She was just on
The Tyra Banks Show
this week to talk about her sex-reassignment surgery and to
introduce her valiant mother and her adorable boyfriend. After
Tyra tried to show true empathy by discussing her own inability
to control supermodel farts after a colonoscopy, we all got to
learn about "dilating," which is the thing that happens
after someone has male-to-female surgery. They place rods
inside the new vagina to keep it open during the healing
process. Isis explained that it's all quite painful, but the
new boyfriend got down on one knee and gave her an engagement
ring as incentive to keep her eyes on the prize. Love was
totally in the air, the crowd went crazy for it, Tyra made
TiVo-rewind-worthy flatulence noises and then spoke in a goofy
low voice, as if to imitate the boyfriend, saying, "C'mon,
baby, you gotta dilate." It was magical
television.
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Dave White is the
author of Exile in Guyville. Find him at
www.imdavewhite.com
and his American Idol blog at
www.Popnography.com
.