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Gayness Overload

That’s what TV is now, one big gay jamboree. Unless all you watch is NASCAR. And then that’s kind of gay, too.


JEFF GORDON X390 (GETTY) | ADVOCATE.COM

Jeff Gordon

Actually I don’t know what’s gay about NASCAR except Jeff Gordon.* But someone—I forget who, maybe GLAAD, but someone in any case—does a study each year about how many gays there are on TV. And each year, apparently, we’re underrepresented.

But not from where I sit. Maybe they’re only counting the big networks? The prime-time narrative shows? Are they leaving out reality programming? Soaps? Jerry Springer and Tyra Banks? Because in a DVR world, none of those distinctions matter. For me, if the Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past is making out with a male space alien on Aqua Teen Hunger Force at 1 a.m. on the Cartoon Network, that’s all the gay I need. It counts.

I haven’t done a study obviously, but this fall it’s going to be extremely homosexualish all over the nation’s flat screens. Here’s stuff you should start looking for very soon:

Modern Family: A sitcom about three families in the same neighborhood. One of them is a gay male couple with an adopted baby. I saw an extended commercial for this one playing at a local movie theater (not sure why they do that, but whatever) and the gays look pretty typical in terms of their let’s-all-get-offended-and-take-a-stand-for-gay-pride behavior, but that might just be the pilot. Maybe they’ll mellow out after a while. Or not. Straight audiences love their gays to behave in certain dumb ways. It may just be a phase the world is going through.

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Reader Comments
  • Name: Mommie Dammit
    Date posted: 9/14/2009 10:28:25 AM
    Hometown: Kansas City

    Comment:

    Show me something with an over-40, middle- or lower-income homosexual who prefers 501's and a T-shirt to whatever passes as "fashion" for the next five minutes, drives an old pickup because he prefers a solid, STEEL vehicle to Jap-plastic crap, and the only muscle-building regimen he can afford is busting his ass so he can live paycheck-to-paycheck-and-still-die-broke ... THEN I'LL BELIEVE THERE'S A "NORMAL" GAY CHARACTER ON TV. Until then, spare me the spastic wack-jobs and the sophomoric stereotypes. If that is what we're stuck with for "Gay representation" I'd rather remain off-screen. And John, from Indianapolis - I prefer the truck series. I'm a farm brat, and find it funny as hell to watch an F150 making a left turn at 160 mph.

  • Name: John
    Date posted: 9/8/2009 6:27:56 PM
    Hometown: Indianapolis

    Comment:

    "I don't know what's gay about NASCAR except Jeff Gordon" HAHAHA so true, what a fag SMOKE EM #14!! and any homo's who think other homos shouldn't watch nascar, go choke

  • Name: John
    Date posted: 9/8/2009 6:26:59 PM
    Hometown: Indianapolis

    Comment:

    "I don't know what's gay about NASCAR except Jeff Gordon" HAHAHA so true, what a fag SMOKE EM #14!! and any homo's who think other homos shouldn't watch nascar, go choke

  • Name: charlie
    Date posted: 9/8/2009 12:14:44 PM
    Hometown: Kingsport,Tn

    Comment:

    One year in Bristol,Tn at the Bristol Motor Speed Way... Jeff Gordon was seen in the bathroom getting oral sex to another nascar team member.. it was all over the news and new paper for weeks.. that why he is paying is wife alimony now to stay with him .. so he can hide his sex life to the public ...

  • Name: Eric
    Date posted: 9/8/2009 12:08:03 PM
    Hometown: Edgewater

    Comment:

    so jeff gordon's not gay?

  • Name: JustAReader
    Date posted: 9/8/2009 7:14:18 AM
    Hometown: Falls Church, VA

    Comment:

    1.) This article did not actually say anything. It was a headline with about 100 words tacked on to it, plus a picture of a straight man as bait. 2.) The presence of a lot of homosexuality has a word for it. It's called debauchery. It comes from too much material success without the matching spiritual strength.

  • Name: brian wainscott
    Date posted: 9/7/2009 11:17:40 PM
    Hometown: callahan ca

    Comment:

    if you wre to ever know that jeff gordon is actually gay i would like to know cause he is all time favorite racer i've watched him since i was a kid

  • Name: MARKY__poo
    Date posted: 9/7/2009 7:57:35 AM
    Hometown: Milwaukee

    Comment:

    "Normal Gay Characters"???? Remember, NORMAL is only a setting on the Clothes Washer. Also remember... N.A.S.C.A.R. = Non-Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks. You think it "normal" to see Fat Dumpy guys married to Slim Beauty Models in Sitcoms and Commercials?... The Fat Guy always "take the fall".

  • Name: MARKY__poo
    Date posted: 9/7/2009 7:14:51 AM
    Hometown: Milwaukee

    Comment:

    "Normal Gay Characters"???? Remember, NORMAL is only a setting on the Clothes Washer. Also remember... N.A.S.C.A.R. = Non-Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks. You think it "normal" to see Fat Dumpy guys married to Slim Beauty Models in Sitcoms and Commercials?... The Fat Guy always "take the fall".

  • Name: NewSmyrna
    Date posted: 9/6/2009 1:14:42 PM
    Hometown: New Smyrna Beach

    Comment:

    Wait a minute. Are you saying Jeff Gordon is straight? News to me.



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