Memories of Coming Out

On October 11 millions of openly gay Americans will reflect on the day they took those brave first steps out of the closet, providing support and encouragement to others who have yet to find their voice. In this series of stories, some of the gay communities most visible performers, activists and personalities share their memories of coming out, and what the experience taught them about themselves.

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David Moretti, actor, The Lair

Coming out, for me, was a very gray, hazy time in my life. I had been fighting it my whole life, and when I finally acted on it I hated myself. I had created such a guilt trip that I had been dealing with for a quarter of my lifetime that my actions almost pushed me back in the closet.  It took me another year to accept it and find good friends who assured me I wasn't the Omen child. 

Finally, after that time of guilt and feeling alone and wrong, I was able to enjoy my newfound accepted identity. That's when the coming-out speeches happened. 

One in particular was to my pops. It was Halloween time, and he was visiting me here in L.A. I created all this anxiety for myself because it was time to tell the alpha of the family, the guy who birthed me. And you never know how that's gonna turn out -- especially in patriarchal Italian "man eats and makes money, woman feeds and births" culture. That's obviously an exaggeration, but you get the point. So I took a deep breath, told him flat out, and counted the hours (read: seconds) of silence. 

All he said was "Wow -- hey, can I still get grandkids?" 

All I could do was laugh. He was a progressive liberal alpha Italian -- who knew! He completely deflated the "situation" with one sentence. I told him that kids were definitely a possibility, just not sure how soon. We later had lunch, and that was that. I was a very fortunate kid.

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Marcellas Reynolds, actor/host, Big Brother / The Style Network

I never really came out to my mother. After a failed engagement to a woman one day, I simply stopped dating women and stopped talking about my relationships to my family. It just segued that easily. But not being truthful about myself and my life caused a rift in our once extremely close relationship. We began to bicker and fight about the past. The truth has a nagging way of wanting out.