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Lesbian Mother Faces Deportation


Advocates for binational same-sex couples say the wrenching predicament of a lesbian mother in California illustrates why Congress needs to pass the Uniting Americans Families Act.

Shirley Tan, 43, will likely be deported this Friday from her home in San Mateo. The deportation would separate Tan from her 12-year-old twin sons, her life partner, Jay Mercado, and her mother-in-law, sending Tan back to the Philippines, where she was a victim of horrific violence.

If Tan and Mercado were heterosexual and married, advocates say, Mercado could sponsor Tan for immigration, but federal law limits the definition of marriage to a man and woman. The discriminatory circumstances illustrate the urgent need to pass the UAFA, which would allow gay and lesbian Americans to sponsor their foreign-born partners just as straight citizens can.

UAFA was reintroduced in Congress in February, and currently has 110 cosponsors in addition to chief sponsors Rep. Jerrold Nadler and Sen. Patrick Leahy. Proponents are hopeful that a Democrat-controlled Congress and a more supportive administration can move the legislation forward.

"Until the UAFA passes, families like Jay and Shirley's are at terrible risk," Immigration Equality executive director Rachel B. Tiven said in a statement on Monday. "We are hopeful their members of Congress will introduce a private bill that would spare their twin boys and the boys' grandmother from having the country they love tear their family apart."

A potential short-term alternative to UAFA, private legislation is introduced on behalf of individuals who demonstrate compelling circumstances, such as Tan's.

Tan applied for political asylum in 1995, and thought her case was still pending, until immigration officials knocked on her door this January. She told the San Jose Mercury News that her former lawyer never told her a deportation order was issued in 2002. Her bid for asylum failed because the threat to her life in the Philippines came from a relative -- who shot her in the head when she was young over an inheritance battle -- instead of from the government.

Now, like 37,000 other couples in the United States, Tan and Mercado face the agonizing choice of either separating their family or going to live in a country their children have never known.

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Reader Comments
  • Name: Sam
    Date posted: 4/4/2009 5:41:00 PM
    Hometown: living abroad

    Comment:

    Thanks, Advocate, for publishing this story. I hope that it won't be torn to shreds by anti-illegal voices, because the fact is that Jay and Shirley would have been legally married if same-sex marriage were available and recognized at the federal level. Unfortunately, even most in the LGBT community are unaware that we are unable to sponsor our partners for immigration. And, as it affects the minority of us, it gets little or no attention. It is vital that the Uniting American Families Act gets through Congress to Pres. Obama's desk this year. Please help us to spread the word. Many thanks!

  • Name: Melanie
    Date posted: 4/2/2009 11:10:00 PM
    Hometown: San francisco

    Comment:

    Update Shirley Tan's deportation is stayed for a few weeks, pending further investigation. Melanie Nathan - see press release in oblogdeeoblogda wordpress BLOG

  • Name: mike
    Date posted: 4/2/2009 7:58:00 PM
    Hometown: oklahoma

    Comment:

    My partner just left 3 days ago b/c I can't marry him. The possibility of him not being able to remain in the USA feared us both, and my fears turned to reality rapidly. It brought hurt, pain, anxiety, depression. The problem is we won't even allow our own citizens the right to marry if they are same sex. When i took him to the airport in D.C. the agent (who was muslim) wasn't going to let him on the plane b/c he saw me kiss him goodbye. I had to plead with the airline supervisor to let him on the plane, this is how I had to say goodbye to my one true love, and in my own country, sickening at best. Why should I not be able to marry the one I love, but my neighbor in the house next to me can? Try to tell an african american they can't marry b/c of their color "Mr. Obama". I just can't stop thinking about the night I first saw him, and how I may never see him again. Wake up America - home of the "free"!!!!

  • Name: Ann Marie
    Date posted: 4/2/2009 5:10:00 PM
    Hometown: Spring

    Comment:

    In the US, we are not profamily.

  • Name: Jay
    Date posted: 4/2/2009 4:09:00 PM
    Hometown: Toronto

    Comment:

    This article just emphasizes the need to pass UAFA AND repeal DOMA immediately. Just like other commentators here, I left the States to remain with my partner and relocated to Canada. We realize that many bi-national couples do not have the option (or can qualify) to move here and we really feel for them. We have been actively educating my family in US and our new friends in Canada why we moved here and everyone keeps telling us that they had no idea that same-sex couples do not have immigration rights. Instead of being angry or sad, we really need to inform people of what's going on. Thank you Immigration Equality and The Advocate for highlighting this issue. Jay in Toronto.

  • Name: Dennis
    Date posted: 4/1/2009 1:38:00 PM
    Hometown: Fresno

    Comment:

    So sad to hear about that lesbian couple force to be separated. My partner and I are one of the bi-national couples which have been struggling hard to stay together. We need to move to Canada, spend a lot of money to live in other country as a secondary citizen. We need to get UAFA passed ASAP.

  • Name: M from Germany
    Date posted: 4/1/2009 3:13:00 AM
    Hometown: Mannheim

    Comment:

    Yes, yes and yes... And I am stunned that since 2007 the Dems are holding the majority in the House... and nothing, nothing has moved or happened with the LGBT agenda. Big words during the last presidential campaign - little or no action so far. Where are the Dems? I am stunned how little in general politicians know or care about real life in America and how little Americans know and care in what environment they live. (UAFA, Hiv travel ban...) Until it gets a real boost from somewhere nothing moves but then it gets a nice name (Shirley Tan family reuniting act...) My husband from the US and I from Germany (we are partnered in Germany) try to travel back and forth between the US and Europe with US immigration giving me grief about spending too much time in the US. We tried for a couple of years to life in Costa Rica which was a disaster... Even that I bring my own money, health insurance... I am not welcome. So much about the land of the free or leader of the free world!!!

  • Name: Chris
    Date posted: 3/31/2009 9:45:00 PM
    Hometown: Goiania, Goias Brazil

    Comment:

    This is a tragic story and hopefully sane heads will rule and it will be resolved favorably. It could have been happening to my partner and I if we had stayed in the US. I'm originally from Ohio and my partner is Brazilian. We met here in Brazil and several months later went to the US to take care of my mother who was quite ill at the time. After visa options for him ran out we considered moving to Canada but we didn't qualify. We continued living in Chicago (where we registered as domestic partners) but eventually he had to go off status. We decided to relocate here in Brazil where we had learned that I could get a "green card" based on our union. As are most things here in Brazil, this has proven to be extremely complicated and now I am the one who lives off status. In the end we would just like to be able to feel at home somewhere. We are quite hopeful that the law will change there so that we can return home from "the war." Please keep fighting for our family.

  • Name: Melanie
    Date posted: 3/31/2009 4:55:00 PM
    Hometown: Marin County

    Comment:

    My name is Melanie Nathan; spokesperson for Tan family. Thank s Advocate for publishing and all who have offered your support.

  • Name: Westchester Irish
    Date posted: 3/31/2009 4:28:00 PM
    Hometown: Westchester, NY

    Comment:

    The following Senators and Reps co-sponsored this bill in the last Congress, but have yet to sign-on again in this Congress. We need to bring them on board ASAP! Senators Maria Cantwell WA Robert Casy Pa Edward Kennedy Ma Congressional Thomas Allen Me 1 Joe Baca Ca 43 Corrine Brown Fl 3 James Clyburn Sc 6 Joe Courtney Ct 6 Elijah Cummings Md 7 Diane Degette Co 1 Rosa Delaura Ct 3 Keith Ellison Mn 5 Al Green Tx 9 Kathy Caster Fl 11 Henry Johnson Ga 4 Jay Inlee Wa 1 Jesse Jackson Jr Il 2 Patrick Kennedy Ri 1 Tom lantos Ca 12 Martin Meehan Ma 5 Jim Mcdermott Wa 7 Michael McNulty Ny 21 Kendrick Meek Fl 17 Brad Miller Nc 13 Frank Pallone Nj 6 Laura Richardson Ca 37 Bobby Rush Il 1 Allyson Schwartz Pa 13 Chris Shays Ct 4 Adam Smith Wa 9 Hilda Solis Ca 32 Edolphus Towns Ny 10 Mark Udall Co 2 Diane Watson Ca 33



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