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Gay Bush Appointee Loses Appeal for Fair Treatment

Richard Grenell was appointed spokesperson for the U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations by President Bush more than seven years ago and became the longest-serving public servant to hold that post. But when it came to having his partner of six years listed alongside the spouses of other U.N. diplomats, his dedication to the job didn't carry much weight with the State Department.


Richard Grenell spent most of his days as spokesperson for the U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations putting out fires for the Bush Administration and battling to keep issues like human rights in Burma and Zimbabwe in the public spotlight. But after working for the U.S. Mission to the U.N. for more than seven years, his final media push was publicizing a more personal struggle that he fought internally with the State Department.

Grenell, the longest-serving spokesperson for the U.S. Ambassador whose final day was Friday, September 26, started inquiring nearly four years ago about having his partner, Matt Lashey, listed in what’s known as the United Nations’ Blue Book, a reference guide of contact information for different member states of the United Nations as well as diplomatic personnel and their spouses.

Though Grenell and Lashey met in New York and have been together six years, they cannot legally marry in the Empire State. “It is not an option for us in New York, but hopefully someday soon it will be,” he says. “In my mind, and in Matt's mind, this is it. We’re married.”

Since the White House regularly included Grenell's partner by name on invitations to official events and parties, Grenell hoped the State Department would follow suit. He began by approaching the department appointee tasked with submitting additions and deletions for the Blue Book with his request -- the first step in a long line of dead ends. When the next edition printed and his partner’s name wasn’t listed, Grenell took it as “a mess-up.” He made several more failed attempts to have Lashey added before being told that “it was a U.N. issue, not a State Department issue.”

“I decided to investigate on my own,” says Grenell, “find out who was in charge of the Blue Book at the U.N.” That led him to the Protocol and Liaison Service, the department that prints the material, where a representative informed Grenell that “the U.N. takes whatever information is given to it by member states and prints it -- they make no evaluation of the correctness of the information.”

Indeed, the inside cover of the Blue Book states: “This publication is prepared by the Protocol and Liaison Service for information purposes only. The listings relating to the permanent missions are based on information communicated to the Protocol and Liaison Service by the permanent missions, and their publication is intended for the use of delegations and the Secretariat.”

Initially, Grenell took a measured behind-the-scenes approach to the situation, but his appeals grew more pointed this past spring.

“What put me over the edge was a friend and colleague who met her spouse after I was already with my partner -- they got married and subsequently were put into the Blue Book in a matter of days,” he says.

After numerous inquiries, Grenell eventually received an e-mail from Thomas Gallo, a U.S. Mission administrator, on July 25, stating, “It has been our practice to include only spouses, when requested by the employee, in our Blue Book updates, because the Blue Book description states that it lists ‘spouses’ and because the Department of State Foreign Affairs Manuel, under the heading of Members of Household (MOH), indicates that the Mission may not request privileges, immunities or exceptions for MOH.”

Privileges and immunities are a certain set of rights and protections afforded to employees of different member states of the United Nations while working in their capacity as a diplomatic envoy. But Grenell takes issue with the reasoning that the Blue Book listing bestows any sort of special status. “I could go down the road and have the legal discussion about diplomatic immunity and legal spouses if we were talking about privileges and immunities,” explains Grenell, “We are not talking about P & I. We are simply talking about a reference book the U.N. prints. I find it very hard to believe that anyone would be adversely affected by printing Matt’s name.”

Grenell replied to Gallo’s e-mail reiterating that the Blue Book is nothing more than a reference and adding, “I want my partner listed in it. I am formally requesting this and I want a legal opinion. Please do not delay this so that we miss the deadline.”

The legal opinion came via e-mail on July 31 from State Department attorney Richard Visek, who shelved the discussion of privileges and immunities and turned his sole focus to the legal definition of “spouse” as it was designated by the Defense of Marriage Act. “The word ‘marriage’ means only a legal union between one man and one woman as husband and wife, and the word ‘spouse’ refers only to a person of the opposite sex who is a husband or a wife,” Visek wrote, citing U.S. Law, 1 U.S.C. 7. He concluded the e-mail, “In interpreting the term ‘spouse’, the mission should adhere to the definition under U.S. law. We also understand that this is consistent with past practice.”

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Reader Comments
  • Name: Alyssa
    Date posted: 10/13/2008 5:02:00 PM
    Hometown: New York/ London

    Comment:

    I have to say, looking at some of these comments I'm actually a little appalled at what some of the members of our community have to say. Yes, I am a Democrat and I'm not ashamed of my sexuality. I also wouldn't say that I'm religious, but rather spiritual. And I wouldn't try to pretend that conservatism has ever been really kind to our cause. But at the same time, I can't believe what some of the people here are writing. As someone else has already posted, maybe he has reason to be Republican. Sexuality does not, at least for myself, define my political views or my core values. It certainly changes my perspective, but to say it is the most important aspect, is really just...silly. There's too much working against us as is for us to be mocking the Republican members of our society. Regardless of who they're voting for, they're still working for our collective equal rights. Be glad Mr.Grenell is working to get his partner's name listed instead of focusing on his voting habits.

  • Name: Joe
    Date posted: 10/11/2008 4:20:00 PM
    Hometown: Milwaukee

    Comment:

    i think Mr Grenell has done good work and my guess is he put his personal agenda last and focused on world issues that affected large groups of people I am a reuplican and wish the party would get out of peoples private lives and take a lead from Grenell and focus on the big issues that face the country and world I feel anyone who wants to marry should be able to

  • Name: Mike
    Date posted: 10/3/2008 12:54:00 PM
    Hometown: Philly

    Comment:

    I am fine with Gay Republicans although I believe they are mostly misguided. What I can not believe is that Rich is proud that he was able to get John Bolton to speak at a Log Cabin event, I would not brag about that to anyone.

  • Name: wesley
    Date posted: 10/3/2008 1:59:00 AM
    Hometown: kansas city

    Comment:

    ryan, it seems to me if mr. grenell were a black man and went to a kkk rally he'd be surprised to be treated poorly by the klan. the worst terrorist attack in the history of the world occurred on a republican's watch. the worst financial meltdown since the great depression is occurring on the same republicans watch. it's ludicrous to assert they have a monopoly on security, economic prosperity, or values. i could keep going through a litany of examples of where right wing ideology can be discredited but only one party and one presidential candidate support us on the core issues of equality. friends don't tell friends to sit at the back of the bus. ryan, if you're willing to excuse people treating you as a second class citizen maybe that's what you and mr. grenell deserve to be. i'm not a second class citizen and will not support people who treat me as such.

  • Name: Rick
    Date posted: 10/1/2008 2:36:00 PM
    Hometown: Baltimore

    Comment:

    What is the big deal? People discriminate for all kinds of reasons. Was he shocked when this happened? And aside from the Democrat/Republican divide, it is pretty common sensical that gay people will have a better chance for equal rights with Obama. And equal rights are all we want. I mean, really, who cares who a person chooses to sleep with? Life is too short.

  • Name: William
    Date posted: 10/1/2008 2:15:00 PM
    Hometown: San Juan

    Comment:

    GOVERNOR PATTERSON GAVE RECOGNITION TO SAME-SEX MARRIAGES ENTERED INTO IN CALIFORNIA AND MASSACHUSETTS SO GRENELL AND LASHEY HAVE THE OPTION OF MARRYING IN EITHER OF THESE ENLIGHTENED STATES. OF COURSE, THIS DOES NOT SOLVE THE FEDERAL DOMA ISSUE, WHICH IS SO BARBARIC. WHEN WILL THE MAJORITY FINALLY BE HONEST AND ADMIT THAT NO RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN CONSENTING ADULTS IS LESSER THAN ANOTHER? THE COMMITTMENT BETWEEN SPOUSES BENEFIT THE COMMUNITY INCLUDING FAMILY INCLUDING ANY OFFSPRING. RELIGIOUS DOGMA HAS NO PLACE IN PUBLIC POLICY IN A SECULAR DEMOCRACY LIKE THE USA. THE GREATEST GIFT THAT OUR FOUNDING FATHERS GAVE TO THE WORLD WAS SEPARATING CHURCH AND STATE. WE NEED TO GET BACK TO BASICS AND HONOR OUR FOUNDERS' WISDOM. RELIGION IS THE MOST DEVISSIVE INSTITUTION DOMESTICALLY AND INTERNATIONALLY. IT HAS LITTLE TO DO WITH PEACE AND A LOT TO DO WITH HATE. AMEN.

  • Name: William B. Kelley
    Date posted: 10/1/2008 12:44:00 PM
    Hometown: Chicago, Illinois

    Comment:

    Though a committed Democrat and a gay righs activist for 43 years, I don't join in the over-the-top condemnations of gay Republicans I see posted here. Yes, I think gay Republicans are misguided, but I also think gay religionists are misguided, and yet both types can do valuable work in our behalf within their institutions if they're of a mind to. So I commend Richard Grenell for his work. I do wonder whether there are any gay UN mission personnel from such countries as the Netherlands, Canada, and Spain who either have listed or want to list their same-sex spouses in the UN Blue Book--or gay personnel from other countries with civil unions and the like who have partners who could be listed. If any such personnel listings exist, Grenell wouldn't have been the first, and he could have cited that precedent. Of course, he would still have had to deal with DOMA, which must be repealed. Maybe with a Democratic administration . . .

  • Name: Ryan
    Date posted: 10/1/2008 3:06:00 AM
    Hometown: Carrollton

    Comment:

    I'm looking at these comments and mostly seeing "He got what he deserved." For what? You know, not everyone is defined exclusively by sexuality. Could it be that, maybe, just maybe, he had an actual reason for being a Republican? Just because a gay man/lesbian is Republican does not automatically mean he hates himself or anything of the sort. It just means he isn't a Democrat. So, what? We make fun of gay Republicans for being gay now? Rather hypocritical if you ask me.

  • Name: howard
    Date posted: 10/1/2008 2:22:00 AM
    Hometown: Long Beach

    Comment:

    I am sorry that Mr. Grenell's partner isn't seen by the US government as a person of any value. I am surprised that he even asked to have him considered as a person. It shows he is still living in self denial of the truth. His boss lead the fight across the nation to get gay marriage outlawed. It's a known fact to Republicans that gay people are second class citizens. Shouldn't he he happy with being a second class citizen ? The constitution's guarantee of equality doesn't include the "perverts" we now call gays. I hope this personal experience opens his eyes to the true spirit of republicans. It's a mean evil spirit of greed and privilege.

  • Name: Sarah H.
    Date posted: 9/30/2008 6:10:00 PM
    Hometown: Boilinghood, MI

    Comment:

    Oh, Frank (Eggers), you're another one of those morons who think that there's gay people "inside" the Republican Party doing something. Don't you get it by now that there is no "inside" the GOP when it comes to LGBT? Can you name even one thing that someone - from "within" has done - just one change that they've inacted? I'm giving you a chance to actually name just one teensie, eensie, little thing that a Log Cabin has done to give us our civil rights. They've been around for over 40 years - so it should be easy for you.

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