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Presenting Tom Judson's Canned Ham Tour

Join composer-turned-Broadway performer-turned-porn star-turned-real estate flipper Tom Judson as he travels the country to perform his one man show, Canned Ham.



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John Steinbeck had his "Rocinante"; Joel McCrea in Sullivan's Travels had his "land yacht"; Ken Kesey had the "Further" bus. I will shortly join this illustrious and Quixotic fraternity on a road trip of my own in a modest little number I've dubbed "Canned Ham," a 50-year-old camper I just finished restoring (that entire process is documented on my blog ). And like the above-mentioned trio, I too will have a partner who'll be riding shotgun: my cat, Mickey. She will be my Charley, my Veronica Lake, my Merry Pranksters all rolled into one furry gray ball.

The reason I'll be traveling the country is to perform my one-man show (also called Canned Ham ), but my hope for this trip -- nay, this journey -- is to see the country as I have not done before. I've twice toured America with Broadway shows ( Cabaret , 42nd Street ) and hopped around a bit making personal appearances when I was known as "Gus Mattox, world's oldest porn star." But the sights on those kinds of travels are usually limited to whatever lies alongside the interstate spur between the airport and the downtown Radisson.

Now I'm on the lookout for attractions a bit more esoteric and local: the Uncle Sam memorial bridges, the world's largest wheels of cheese. I plan to sample the delicacies at the Maggie's Krooked Cafés and the Trolley Stop bakeries of the land. And I want to get to know the Bonnie-the-barbers, the Steve-the-Radical Faeries, and even plain old Joe, the guy at the end of the bar.

I've been looking down at America from 35,000 feet for too long. It's about time I see this country from the POV of that scorpion skittering across the hot asphalt of Route 66.

Since I've -- gulp -- never towed anything before in my life, I decided a short test run of the Canned Ham was in order. My friend Cass Morgan was chosen as the guinea pig for my first trip. You, dear readers, are the guinea pigs for this first column. I hope you'll feel free to respond to what you find here -- I can be reached at tomjudson@mac.com.

I'll be checking back into Advocate.com once a month with updates from the road.

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4 readers have recommended this story.

Reader Comments
  • Name: rykert
    Date posted: 8/24/2009 10:10:00 AM
    Hometown: leuven (belgium)

    Comment:

    Hi, Tom, what a great opportunity for me travel(l)ing around with you thr(o)u(gh) the States....The way you comment reveals your character and the wonderful person you are...I wish to hear (read and see) much more of you...I can't get enough, actually...

  • Name: Harry
    Date posted: 8/24/2009 12:09:00 AM
    Hometown: Brooklyn, NY

    Comment:

    I do enjoy Tom's travelogue. As a graduate of Williams College, 30 miles south of Bennington, I can add a bit of local color. What is now known as the Battle of Bennington actually occurred several miles to the northwest, in what is today New York. But Nathan Hale and the Green Mountain boys -- the guerrilla force that decimated the red-coated British regulars (crimson coats are not quite camo in a pine forest) -- came from Vermont and the New Englanders took the credit. For nearly half a century, Bennington College was a women's school and Williams was an all-male institution. Bennington embraced progressive principles and required its students to spend two months off-campus every year, pursuing experiences that broadened their minds. It was called the Non-Resident Term of NRT. The joke in Williamstown was that during NRT the Bennington Monument went limp.

  • Name: Ha!!!!
    Date posted: 8/23/2009 8:10:00 PM
    Hometown: USA

    Comment:

    How interesting Broadway to Prostitute good for you and you're OLD too I see a long future for you

  • Name: Austin Hayes
    Date posted: 8/23/2009 12:12:00 PM
    Hometown: Rancho Mirage

    Comment:

    Thanks for making this column so intimate and interesting! I feel like I am right beside you and Mickey taking this amazing journey. I'll definitely be looking forward to each new chapter. Also, I really enjoyed listening to your beautiful song, Cass Morgan's vocals are exquisite!

  • Name: Brad Hogan
    Date posted: 8/23/2009 8:05:00 AM
    Hometown: Holland

    Comment:

    Come visit Saugatuck, MI and ride the last chain fairy in America, oops, I mean ferry, and stay at the gay campground in town!

  • Name: gregory morrone
    Date posted: 8/22/2009 11:11:00 PM
    Hometown: cape may court house, new jersey

    Comment:

    excellent maiden voyage. come down to ocean city, new jersey and walk through an elephant.

  • Name: Thomas
    Date posted: 8/22/2009 8:00:00 PM
    Hometown: Paris

    Comment:

    Great song and great start, Tom! Amuses-toi bien!

  • Name: Tom Judson
    Date posted: 8/22/2009 1:10:00 PM
    Hometown: Catskill, NY

    Comment:

    And now for an opposing viewpoint... LOL!

  • Name: Jack
    Date posted: 8/22/2009 12:47:00 PM
    Hometown: Hasbrouck Heights

    Comment:

    SKANK.

  • Name: Linda Rossi
    Date posted: 8/22/2009 9:14:00 AM
    Hometown: Saratoga Springs

    Comment:

    What a great little tune! And her voice was everything you said it was. So pleased you fixed the link and are able to share that with us. Ciao ciao xoxo Linda

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