Rachael Smith
couldn’t find other lesbians who fancy big silver
hoop earrings, red stilettos, and the perfect
application of eye shadow. So now she’s the
“Donna” of her own mafia.
Atlanta is the
queer capital of the South. Our pride celebration is
phenomenal, the gay nightlife is dizzying, and gay
neighborhoods and gay-owned businesses abound. When I
moved here in 2002, I knew I’d found home.
But when it came
to lesbian nightlife, my options were limited. Out one
night at the city’s most popular lesbian bar, dressed
in my prettiest clothes, I noticed a strange
phenomenon. Amid the diversity of styles and ages
there was not a skirt to be seen. No dresses, no high heels,
and no makeup.
I’ve
always been a feminine creature, from my childhood love of
the “truly outrageous” Jem cartoon
character to my current love of MAC cosmetics; my
queerness and my girliness have always gone hand in hand.
Looking around at that bar, I felt alone.
But every so
often, through the smoke and strobes, hope came in the flash
of a big silver hoop earring, a red stiletto, or an expert
application of eye shadow. I’d look
twice—could it be? With a smile we would exchange an
uncommon joy, a delight in seeing our own.
Because this
happened so rarely, in January 2005 I invited a small group
of femme friends to dinner, and the Femme Mafia was born.
Word spread, and our monthly dinner party grew. By
June we had a Web site. By July we’d been
featured in the local gay paper.
By the fall we
had close to 100 “Mafia Femmes,” and our
“Planning Donnas” began preparation for
an anniversary party to celebrate the community
we’d created. The overwhelmingly successful gala
received rave reviews for its production, its
entertainment, and the diversity of its attendees.
Just by meeting
with each other monthly over dinner, the feeling of
visibility among femmes in Atlanta has increased
significantly. Where once we were invisible, now we
are recognized as hardworking community
members—sassy, flashy, and outspoken.
The Femme Mafia
has meant so much to so many of us, especially to me, the
Mafia Donna. And in August a group of us will make a
pilgrims’ journey to San Francisco for the
Femme 2006 conference to share with our sisters from
around the world a little of the solidarity we’ve
built for ourselves.
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