I’m not
the kind of person to go looking for homo subtext when
it’s not there. And really, you
shouldn’t be either. Queer moviegoers aren’t
obliged to see everything filtered through a
subtext-decoding spyglass. But I saw nearly 400 movies
in 2007 (yes, really), all in the line of duty. And I
can tell you that at least a handful of the movies released
this year were really gay films trying to pass for straight.
And I have evidence…
Hairspray
Stated plot: Some kids dance their way to racial
equality in 1960s Baltimore.
Really about: The
inexorable march of progress toward human equality. Not
taking into account its weirdo star in drag (see Wild Hogs
below) or tabloid rumors about Queen Latifah, what is
this movie—conceived and executed by
queers—but a metaphor for gay liberation?
The proof: The
final number, when not referencing the NAACP, isn’t
about race so much as it is the “paradise
we’ve been dreaming of” and nothing
being able to slow down the “rhythm of two hearts in
love.”
The Assassination of Jesse James by The Coward
Robert Ford
Stated plot: Professional hanger-on Robert Ford
both idolizes and despises his boss and best frenemy
James. Then he shoots him dead.
Really about:
Unrequited love turned ugly in an era when only Walt
Whitman had the self-awareness to know he wanted more than
companionship from his “buddies.”
The proof: Much
like the Lucille Ball–obsessed gay child in Todd
Haynes’s short film Dottie Gets Spanked,
Casey Affleck’s Robert Ford collects bits of
media related to Jesse James and reads every nickel
novel he can find. Scrapbooking like that is kind of a
giveaway.
300
Stated plot: Manly Spartans trounce
eyeliner-wearing Persians.
Really about:
Insanely horny guys on the rampage, all of them
constructing intricate decoy plans that will allow them to
touch other men.
The proof: Try as
they might, they can’t shake that “army of
lovers” thing. It doesn’t help when
every guy in the movie is half-naked and has digitized
abs like an issue of Physique Pictorial come to life. Also?
Totally homophobic. And that’s really all the proof
you need.
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