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Bees to Honey

Gay blogger Jeremy Hooper leaves behind the blogosphere’s bitch-and-smear and learns that it’s more effective to befriend your enemies.


Most of us are aware of the intensely antigay Westboro Baptist Church, which has staged public demonstrations for nearly two decades, claiming everything from hurricanes to AIDS to the Iraq war is divine retribution for our country’s tolerance of homosexuality. (Check out its subtly named website, GodHatesFags.com.) But who among us can say he’s given church leader Shirley Phelps-Roper a primer on bagels and lox?

Over the 3½ years that I’ve been writing the blog Good as You, I’ve had the opportunity to engage in e-conversations with so many antigay activists my in-box is starting to look like it was transplanted from Mike Huckabee’s computer. And while heated discussions with these “pro-family” types about our theological differences (and their predictions of my future residency in hell) have certainly occurred, they have also surprised me with their kindness, genuine concern for my well-being, and sincerity.

I’ve had higher-ups at Focus on the Family eagerly offer me a tour of their Colorado Springs compound. A prominent “ex-gay” advocate invited my partner and me to a family dinner. Other times, someone who has publicly denounced gay life and gay love will write to tell me they found a quip I wrote about them to be witty and spot-on. The common message seems to be: “We hate everything you have to say, but we enjoy the tone with which you say it.”

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