When Keith
Ferrazzi and his partner decided to become dads, he used his
own tools as a professional development coach to figure out
how to do it.
In the next five
years I want to have a child.
This is something
I would never say lightly, let alone in a national
magazine, but after much soul-searching, I can now say it
with conviction and promise. If you want to achieve
any dream, getting it down on paper and sharing it
with others is critical to success. For one thing, it
crystallizes that otherwise nebulous internal dialogue and
brings your goal into actionable reality.
So why, at 41, do
I want to complicate my life and my partner’s with
children? The answer stretches back three decades, when I
was practically attached to my father’s hip.
“Pete and Re-Pete,” they called us.
Everywhere he went, I followed. Our mutual adoration had a
poetry that resonates with me to this day. It has made
me who I am: someone who constantly seeks to mentor
others in my life and my work.
Parenting is the
next step of my journey. My parents sacrificed so much
for my benefit. Sending me to the best schools was no easy
feat for a steelworker and a cleaning lady. Today,
sharing these lessons with a child of my own feels
like the highest way to honor their sacrifices.
But you
can’t have a child by yourself -- especially not as a
gay man. I don’t mean you can’t be a
single mom or dad; I just mean that we all need help.
I am so lucky to be embarking on this journey with Stan Lim,
my life partner. Still, it really does take a village.
I write and talk every day about the importance of
peer-to-peer support in all aspects of personal and
work life, but nowhere is this more vital than parenting.
And the process starts long before the baby arrives.
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Ferrazzi is the author of Never Eat Alone and CEO
of Ferrazzi Greenlight, a consulting and
professional development firm in Los Angeles. For more
info go to KeithFerrazzi.com.