Jim Howley strips
down for our feature on the beauty and blemish of the
human body.
Jim Howley,
33
Hilliard, Ohio
Likes: heart,
eyes
Dislikes: “I love all of
myself”
“Before I
transitioned, my physical self was such a burden to
me,” says 33-year-old Jim Howley. “I
tried to kill myself seven or eight times.” In
the seven years since Howley decided to live his life as a
man, he’s moved from Ohio to Los Angeles,
fallen in love with a woman, and earned a little
notoriety (thanks to his appearance on the Logo reality show
Transamerican Love Story). One of eight men competing for
Calpernia Addams’s attention [see page TK],
Howley’s affable charm and good looks carried
him through to the finals.
Howley, who now
works as a writer and activist, says he’s finally
comfortable with his body—and how his outside matches
the person he is on the inside. He’s done
agonizing over his body too. So done that even his
tattoos aren’t aesthetic, but a document of the
struggles he’s overcome. For instance, on his
chest is a locked heart rusted shut with tears that
represent the shame and humiliation he’s endured.
“I’ve come to realize my spirit
transcends my body,” he says. “Regardless of
what my physical self looks like, I know my spirit is
beautiful.”
Today, Howley
says, people are often incredulous when he comes out as
transgender. “When someone disbelieves my trans
status, I laugh to myself because I’ve gone so
far to try to be who I am,” he says. “But
it’s reassuring because it’s the point I
want to be at.”
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Page 1 of 3
Profiles by
Neal Broverman, Kyle Buchanan, Japhy Grant