News
2007-11-01
Utah Kids
in Custody Case Go to Grandma
When Gregg Valdez
took in his niece's four children in September, he
didn't expect to confront a Utah state law that effectivel
When Gregg Valdez
took in his niece's four children in September, he
didn't expect to confront a Utah state law that effectively
bars gay men and lesbians from becoming foster and
adoptive parents. But because his niece was being
monitored by the Division of Child and Family Services
for drug use, Valdez's ability to serve as a temporary
guardian was challenged by the state; it appeared that
Valdez and his partner, Mike Oberg, were violating a
state law that forbids unmarried and cohabiting
couples from becoming foster or adoptive parents.
A court hearing
Monday resolved the dispute by removing the children from
the legal custody of Valdez's niece, Antoinette Rudman, and
placing them with her mother. As a result, the
children, ages 10 months to 11 years old, will move to
Price, Utah, an hour's drive from Salem, where
Valdez lives. All the parties agreed to the arrangement
before presenting it to the judge at the hearing,
Valdez said.
"We all came to
the same conclusion: We didn't want to get involved in
a big court battle, and we wanted to keep the kids
together," Valdez told Gay.com. "I could have fought
it, but I didn't think it would be in the best
interest of the kids. It'll be hard at first, but I
know they'll be taken care of."
Rudman said she
was happy with Monday's court order because it will allow
her to eventually be reunited with her children, though she
recognizes that the judgment was upsetting to Valdez.
"I could tell he
was sad," Rudman said. "By the way he looked, I could
just tell. I think he was hurt, but happy that the kids
are in a safe place."
Some critics of
the Utah cohabitation law, enacted in 2000, say it was
crafted to discriminate against gay parents.
"Because of the
ban against cohabitating couples to becoming foster or
adoptive parents, a gay man living with his partner can't
become a foster parent or adopt kids," said Valdez's
attorney, Laura Milliken Gray. "And it's having
horrible effects on foster children because it
interferes with their permanent placement.
"Attention needs
to be brought to the fact that there are a lot of
people like Gregg in Utah," Gray continued. "This is
not the only case we're seeing."
Utah is one of
three states, including Florida and Alabama, whose laws
make it impossible for gay men and lesbians to become foster
or adoptive parents.
Though the
cohabitation statute had been a central piece of the dispute
before the hearing, Valdez said it wasn't mentioned in court
Monday.
"The gay issue
didn't come up," Valdez said. "I'm happy it didn't.
It's not an issue, and it shouldn't be. It's going to be
hard to adjust to the kids not being there, but I'll
still see the kids and interact with them. It's a
win-win situation, especially for the parents, because
they can be reunited with their kids."
With permanent
legal custody granted to Rudman's mother, the family is in
discussions about whether Valdez should maintain physical
custody of Rudman's 11-year-old son, who has told his
mother that he'd rather stay with Valdez.
"He's comfortable
and safe there, and instead of switching schools
again, he'd like to stay with my uncle Gregg," Rudman said.
"He loves his grandmother, but he feels more
comfortable there."
Valdez said he's
going to push for a change in the cohabitation law.
"I'm meeting up
with my state representative and senator to give them
a personal story so they know how it affects every family,"
Valdez said. "If it weren't for their grandmother
stepping in, who knows what would have happened to
those kids?" (Bernice Yeung, Gay.com)
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