McGreevey's Divorce Proceedings Last Longer Than His Marriage

They've bickered over whether she knew he was gay, whose tell-all book would sell better, whether a poster of a nude man hanging over his new lover's bed had to come down before she'd allow their 6-year-old to visit.

Divorce has been exceptionally bitter for former New Jersey governor Jim McGreevey and his wife, Dina Matos McGreevey. Unless they can resolve the custody and money issues that have arisen since their acrimonious parting, the state's estranged former first couple is heading for a May trial.

The pair split three months after he came out on live television, saying he had a gay affair with an ex-staffer and that he would resign. On Friday they were in court for the umpteenth round in their drawn-out divorce proceeding, this time to fight about whether Matos McGreevey has to cooperate the experts he hired to bolster his claim for shared custody.

Celebrity divorce lawyer Raoul Felder, whose list of clients includes exes of Mike Tyson and Liz Taylor, doubts that the former governor and his wife will follow the script of the 95% of divorcing spouses who settle their cases before trial.

''She is a betrayed spouse, but worse,'' said Felder, who is not involved in the McGreevey case. ''He turned away from her for a member of his own sex; it was even more insulting because she was made a public fool. She feels as if she was used and this is payback time.''

The McGreeveys were married in October 2000 and split in November 2004, when they left the governor's mansion in Princeton and began living apart. As of February, they've been separated with the intention of divorcing for three years and three months -- nearly as long as the marriage.

After the breakup he wrote a tell-all book, then went on The Oprah Winfrey Show and acknowledged having a gay tryst while his wife was in the hospital giving birth to their daughter, Jacqueline. She followed with a tell-all book of her own, and they argued over whose would sell more copies.

On custody, their lawyers -- he's on his third, she's kept the same one throughout -- have squabbled over all sorts of issues. Matos McGreevey has complained about artwork in her husband's home, demanding that one nude photograph be removed, and arguing that Jacqueline should not be allowed to sleep in her father's bed.

McGreevey, who is studying to be an Episcopal priest, wants to keep his daughter for overnight visits on a school night and wants to take her to Episcopal services when she's with him.

The couple once rushed to court days before McGreevey was set to throw Jacqueline a birthday bash because his wife argued it wasn't his weekend for visitation.

''Mr. McGreevey is extremely hopeful that in Jacqueline's best interest her mother will relent in her so far obstinate refusal to consent to true joint custody of this child, which would allow Jacqueline to have the benefits of a deep and bonded relationship with both of her parents,'' said Stephen P. Haller, McGreevey's lawyer.

The bickering also involves money: Matos McGreevey claims he isn't living up to his earning potential as a licensed attorney. She also insists his live-in boyfriend, Mark O'Donnell, should have to disclose his finances and business dealings.

Matos McGreevey lives in a modest home in Springfield. She is an executive with Columbus Hospital but likely will lose her job in the spring, when the hospital is slated to close. Matos McGreevey and her lawyer, John Post, did not return messages seeking comment.

Like other divorces, it's also been expensive: McGreevey said his legal expenses have topped $400,000 so far and that they easily could double before the divorce is final. (Angela Delli Santi, AP)