Getting Real gay once again

As MTV's mainstay reality show The Real World relocates to Denver for its 18th season (premiering November 22), The Advocate checks in with its latest gay cast member, 23-year-old Davis from Marietta, Ga. While a gay or lesbian character is a staple archetype in almost every season of the show, Davis wants the world to know he is no ordinary reality show fag. We caught up with him vacationing with his boyfriend in sunny Buenos Aires to let him explain in his own words his feelings about homosexuality, conservative Christianity, reality TV typecasting, and what it feels like to come out to your grandmother.

What are you doing in Buenos Aires?
One of my really good friends is down here. Actually, it¹s my boyfriend. He's studying down here, and so I'm down here visiting him.

Having seen previous seasons of The Real World, which usually feature one gay or lesbian cast member, did you feel like you were "the gay one"? Did that matter to you?
I feel like they always have...not always, but a lot of times there's a gay character. And I had to do a lot of talking to myself, like, Am I only cast for this show because I'm gay? But there are tons of gay people who try out every season for this show, so obviously there must be something different about me from the rest of them. In life, I'm a real straight-acting kind of gay guy. I'm in a fraternity, I've barely been to any gay bars. I hardly even went when I was in Denver. Most of my friends, if not all of them, are straight. I have a few gay friends. And so, for me, I thought maybe I was being cast for being more like the "straight gay guy." They hadn't really cast a ton of those before. But I didn't want to have to come in and, like, come out immediately to everyone. 'Cause I felt like the guys would immediately label me as "the gay character." And I just came out a year ago. So it was kinda tough, coming in knowing that people are gonna expect someone to be gay, and fingers might be pointed at me, and what are they gonna think? And are they gonna still be my friends? That sort of stuff was going through my head.

So you were not out in the house immediately upon arriving there.
No. I mean, I didn't come in and be like, "I¹m gay!" It took some time. Unfortunately, because this is a show that usually has a gay character, people were asking, "Is there somebody gay?" And I wasn't gonna lie and be like, "Oh, I¹m not," and then tell everyone a month later. So if I was ever confronted, I did [come out], but it wasn't all, like, [from] day one.

What was the response from the other housemates?
The girls had no issues. In fact, one of them was craving a gay character. Some of the guys had issues with it, homophobic issues. I mean, that¹s probably why they were chosen. I'm from a really strong Christian family, so we had a lot of talks about, like, "Is this a choice?" And, what are my views about, you know, if you condemn drinking in the Bible, how is that any different from condemning being gay in the Bible, when my Christian friends are drinking, you know? So it was things like that. One of my favorite persons in the house is one of the guys, and we have become really good friends because of it. So I don't feel like it was a typical "gay guy that only is friends with girls" scenario.

Talk about your upbringing in Marietta.
I'm from a really strong Baptist family. My grandfather is a pastor. My dad and my mom met as youth group leaders. And my parents are both Sunday school teachers on the weekends. I used to work at a Christian bookstore in high school, as well as I went on choir tours and mission tours for spring break.The whole shebang. I was at church most of the days of the week. I was a really, really, really, really, really strong Christian in high school. ButI knew I was gay from about the time I hit puberty, and it was always a struggle for me because I felt like, This is so wrong. I'm going to hell. Like, Am I even a Christian? I was always dealing with that. You remember that movie with Mandy Moore about Christianity?

Saved.
I grew up in that environment. So many people from my high school went to church. If someone was caught smoking on the weekend, oh, my God, they were ousted from our friendship. I was so afraid that if anyone found out that I was gay, I would be kicked out of the group. And I was popular in high school for the fact that I was a church kid and really, you know, good. ButI knew I was gay. So it was a really tough environment to grow up in, because you worry a lot about what people are gonna think about you.

So when did you actually come out?
I came out a year ago this past summer. I went to Florida for college, to try to get away from the conservative South, and I thought, Florida¹s more liberal-minded, and it was. I went to a small Baptist school that had lost its affiliation 10 years ago, so it wasn't really clinging to that anymore. And there weren't really any gay people at my school that were out, really. It was a really small school. But I got really confident in who I was, in the sense that I was popular, I had a lot of friends, everyone liked me. I was at a point where I could tell people I was gay and I wouldn't lose any friends, and it happened. I had true friendships that weren't based about religion and judgmental things; they were just about people liking each other. And when I came out, it was a really positive experience, and I got more popular because of it. And I got more confident in the fact that being gay isn't such a horrible thing. And I actually tried out for the show from all this positive feedback I was getting from my friends. 'Cause I was like, Wow, you know, this isn't as awful as I thought it was. For some people, this show is actually gonna make me come out to them. A lot of my friends from high school don't know about it yet.