Of course gay and
lesbian moms and dads should have been a part of the
White House Easter Egg roll—haven’t they
always been? If we want to be treated like everyone
else, why make a big deal out of it?
I love Easter. In
fact, I love all theme parties. I’m not Christian;
hell, I’m an atheist. But I do love pomp and
circumstance. This Easter I made five Easter baskets:
one for me; one for Jake and Heather, my niece and
nephew who live with me; one for Devon, a long story; and
one for my quasi-boyfriend, Amspaugh. Then I roasted
lamb stuffed with garlic in my Ronco Set It and Forget
It, boiled finger potatoes, steamed vegetables, made
Egyptian mint sauce, homemade gravy, rolls, salad with fresh
pineapple, pears, macadamia nuts, and a homemade
berry–olive oil vinegarette. Could I be more
gay?
We even colored
eggs and used sponges to stipple them and then put hats
and faces on them. It made for a fun and very gay day.
That night I was
on air at KGO-AM 810 San Francisco. It’s where I
work. The show was going fine until a caller asked my
opinion on the gay and lesbian families that showed up
en masse at the White House for the annual Easter Egg
roll. The caller, of course, thought I’d be gushing
with positive emotions about this show of solidarity.
Say it with me:
poppycock.
I thought it was
the most ridiculous, unnecessary, and counterproductive
show of unity that I had heard of in the past few years.
It’s not that I didn’t want the families
there. On the contrary, I thought gay and lesbian
families were always there. I’ve read as much as I
can on the Web and I could not find any
“ban” on gay families from the egg roll in the
past. Given that I thought we were incorporated into the
masses like everyone else. I guess I was wrong; or if
we were, I guess it wasn’t good enough.
Working in
mainstream talk radio, I listen to other hosts during the
days I work to get a barometer on what’s going
on. And I can tell you, nongay hosts found this as
absurd as I did. They didn’t understand the big deal.
Well, first a
note to them. Gays and lesbians form families, have
children, and raise them like everybody else. And that fact
is often overlooked. Hell, that fact is often
legislated against. And I imagine it gets frustrating
for those families to feel they are on the outside of
the traditional family unit. They want the same things for
their children that all parents want: equality,
acceptance, love, and joy. So of course they want them
to be involved in this national tradition.
But here’s
my problem: Why announce it to every media outlet? Why not
just show up and roll the damned eggs? Is Easter a time to
be making statements about sexual orientation? Is this
the time to single out your children and show the
world that they are from a nontraditional—and it
is—family unit?
You see, I know
how we win the war. I’ve always known. We win it by
standing side by side with our nongay counterparts and
showing them and the world how alike we are. But we
don’t do that—can’t do that—if
every time we try and do it there are press releases,
news cameras, picketers, bullhorns, and such.
You see, if we
want to be perceived as the same, as normal just like
everybody else, then we have to behave that way. No other
group that I could find issued a press release about
their participation that day.
I know we need to
make our presence known. I know we need the country to
see that we are, in fact, family units. But is this the way?
Easter was a slow news day, so the major networks
glommed on to this story and made it much bigger than
it needed to be. And that prompted the “I
don’t care if they’re gay or lesbian,
just roll the eggs.”
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Karel (Charles Karel Bouley) is a talk show host
for KGO AM 810 San Francisco, heard Saturday and Sunday
7 p.m. to 10 p.m. or online at www.kgo.com. He is
also heard weekly on the syndicated Bill Press
Show and on WOAI San Antonio. Each Friday he joins Larry
Flick on Sirius satellite radio for Out Q In
the Morning at 10 a.m. Eastern time. His book of
essays, You Can’t Say That, is published
by Alyson. He maintains a blog, podcasts, and
message boards at www.karelchannel.com and can be
reached at info@karelchannel.com.