Why I tried to join the National Guard

Never before have I been the first in the history of this country to do anything. But on May 30, I had the chance to say to myself, Here is something new under the sun.

The U.S. military’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy created the opportunity for Jake Reitan, Ezekiel Montgomery, and myself to be among the first openly gay people to attempt to be accepted by the armed forces. And so on that Tuesday we three presented ourselves at a Twin Cities–area recruiting center and offered to start the enlistment process for the Armed Services.

“Don’t ask” is a federal law, spawned in 1993 under President Bill Clinton, which prohibits openly gay, lesbian, or bisexual people from serving in the military. Not only does it forbid such a person from signing up for duty, it also sets up ground for dismissal for the estimated 65,000 LGB soldiers currently in the military. (Being transgender is a separate issue altogether under military policy).

Yet the military’s own recruitment handbook is ambiguous. An enlistment interview may abruptly end if an applicant has three convictions for driving under the influence, but it does not officially end if the applicant says, “I am gay.” And “don’t ask, don’t tell”--in theory at least--forbids recruiters from asking applicants about their sexuality.

Yet on the morning of May 30--even before we began the application process--an officer unequivocally stated to the press that the enlistment process would be cut short for any applicants who stated they were openly gay or lesbian. But when the process would end exactly remained in question.

So the three of us entered the Minnesota National Guard office, sat through the interview, filled out forms, and answered questions about our health, education, drug use, and other things. The rule in practice works like this: If at the end of the enlistment interview there is no reason for disqualification other than sexual orientation, the applicant is informed that he or she is rejected based on the military’s prohibition against “homosexual conduct”--but is also told of his or her right to an appeal.

According to the military, an appeal consists of a statement and two letters of recommendation in which the recruit provides evidence that he or she is not actually gay in order to gain a “favorable decision.” As such, there is no existing appeal format for Jake, Ezekiel, and me. We will draft our own kind of appeal this summer in which we tell the military why we are qualified, openly gay applicants.

Let me be clear about my sincere intention to serve: I will enlist with honor and purpose. I will serve my country with pride, but I will do it only as an openly gay woman.