It can happen
wordlessly, as in a women’s restroom, where I
sometimes catch a fellow patron’s gaze tracking
from my face to my breasts and back again, her
attitude one of idle curiosity or confusion, occasionally
disgust or hostility.
For days, sometimes weeks at a time, I bask in a cozy
headspace where I don’t think about my gender
and, more important, no one points it out to me. When
the reverie is broken, it is almost invariably by a
stranger. It can happen wordlessly, as in a
women’s restroom, where I sometimes catch a
fellow patron’s gaze tracking from my face to my
breasts and back again, her attitude one of idle
curiosity or confusion, occasionally disgust or
hostility.
It can happen indirectly, as when I was once within earshot
of a (gay) man who, indicating me, hissed,
“What is that supposed to be?” He
happened to be speaking to a friend of mine, who
heroically replied, “She’s whatever you need
her to be.”
It can happen more directly, as when a clerk quite
innocently calls me sir, then, noting his gaffe,
showers me in pardons and sorrys, not realizing that
his apologies make me far more uncomfortable than any
mistaken appellation. Confusion I can take, even hostility,
but I resent this notion that how others perceive my
gender should -- or does -- matter to me.
Why are we so hysterical about this social construct called
gender anyway?
Merriam-Webster defines the concept as “the
behavioral, cultural, or psychological traits
typically associated with one sex.” Which is a
little limiting, don’t you think, considering that
there are just the two sexes to choose from? And
considering that those two options are in turn not
widely accepted as optional at all -- unless you happen to
have been born intersexed.
Actually, scratch that; intersexuals aren’t given any
more slack than the rest of us. Longstanding protocols
call for the immediate disambiguation of gender
obscurity from the moment of birth. The September 2006
“Consensus Statement on the Management of Intersex
Disorders” asserts, “Initial gender
uncertainty is unsettling and stressful for families.
Expediting a thorough assessment and decision is
required.” And so it is that, taking into
account a newborn’s genes, hormones, genitalia,
potential for fertility, and family’s wishes, doctors
make their best guess as to whether the little XXXY
will want to live his or her adult life as a man or a
woman.
Given the fail rate of explicitly male or female plumbing in
predicting whether a child will want to live his or
her adult life as a man or a woman, doesn’t it
seem a bit reckless to trust the informed guesses of
doctors when biology has itself abstained?
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Morrison is a copy editor at The Advocate. Read
more of her writing atneurotranscendence.com