BY Duane Wells
February 05 2010 5:05 PM ET
Without a doubt! That’s an odd pairing, but I think it’s really pretty dead-on accurate for Annabelle’s parents.
I know. I thought to myself, What’s the new accessory in Hollywood? The new accessory in Hollywood is a baby. But what happens when those babies grow up and get older? [These couples] don’t want this great, hulking daughter ruining their image. [Laughs]
So here’s a little chicken-and-egg scenario for you. When you’re writing, which comes first — the characters or the inspiration from the real-life headlines?
When I pick up my pen, I have no idea what’s going to happen. The [characters] just tell me that day, and I guess Spitzer was in the headlines that day and I thought, Yeah, this is what’s going to happen here. I’m writing the new book now. I haven’t actually started it yet, but what it’s going to be is running through my head right now, and that’s Goddess of Vengeance: The Continuing Adventures of Lucky Santangelo. [Laughs] Everybody says to me, “How old is Lucky now?” And I say “She’s the same age as Madonna.” That shuts them up very quickly. [Laughs]
You always have wonderful stories about your raciest characters, whom you talk about as familiarly as if they were your close friends. Who are some of your favorites in Poor Little Bitch Girl?
I was very enamored with Bobby [Santangelo Stanislopoulous]. I think he’s very sexy. He’s got that young John F. Kennedy thing. He’s a good boy, but he can also be a bad boy as is proven with Zeena. I particularly like the scene when she goes into the shower and grabs his balls! [Laughs] You know, it’s typical of a guy — he’s not going to tip her out once she’s there and she’s got his balls in her hand! [Laughs]
Touché. I love that you have such a sense of fun and mischief about your characters.
You know ... I try to make my books humorous too. I was reading this thing in The New York Times on Sunday about James Patterson, and he seems all uptight about the fact that he’s not taken seriously, but if you’re a storyteller, you can tell whatever story you want and it doesn’t matter whether you’re critically acclaimed or not. Who cares?
Speaking of stories, what are your thoughts about the scandals in late-night television surrounding David Letterman and the whole Jay Leno–Conan O’Brien ordeal over at NBC? I have to ask because in your last book, Married Lovers, you wrote about a talk-show host, so it’s almost as if your book foreshadowed the current meltdown in the world of late night.
I know. If I wrote [what’s going on now] would anyone have believed it? No. They would have just laughed me off the page. But here’s what I think. I think that the two best late-night show hosts are Craig Ferguson and Chelsea Handler. I think they’re both fabulous, so who gives a crap about the others? [Laughs]
Well, to be quite honest, Jay and Dave really only have a finite period of time left on television, when you really think about it.
Exactly. And I’m sick and tired of watching Letterman flirt with all those young starlets that come on [his show], and there he is banging half his staff. [Laughs] And Jay is only interested in getting back to his car collection. [Laughs] But yes ... I found [the scandals] intriguing.
I loved the jokes they were making about each other. I particularly liked the one Jay made about Letterman when he said, “Well, if you want to be ignored, you better marry him.” [Laughs] It’s gonna get really nasty when they get back on the air. I love that.