Discover Why Wanting in Arabic Is This Year's Best Transgender Fiction
BY Trish Salah
June 30 2014 6:00 AM ET
Poet and scholar Trish Salah's new book, Wanting in Arabic, just won the Lambda Literary Award for Best Transgender Fiction. Salah's win is an accomplishment representative of her career, which she's spent, in part, showing readers the critical importance of transgender literature.
"So often trans* people's work is read as a symptom of our identity rather than as creative and critical writing that may arise from our experiences, oppression, and culture, but which is not reducible to it," Salah recently told The Manitoban.
A Lebanese-Canadian professor of women's and gender studies at the University of Winnipeg, Salah has focused her research on the emergence of transgender and transsexual minority literatures as well as feminism, decolonization, sex work, and transnational sexualities. Most recently, she organized Writing Trans Genres: Emergent Literatures, a groundbreaking conference dedicated to trans literature.
In addition to Wanting in Arabic, Salah has published numerous scholarly articles, sits on the editorial board of Transgender Studies Quarterly, and has just released her second book, Lyric Sexology, Vol. 1 (Roof Books).
Read an exclusive excerpt from Wanting in Arabic below.
Phoenicia ≠ Lebanon
Phoenicia ≠ Lebanon
though they occupy the same place, more or less
a) on a map? do you see
b) in my heart? to the west, the accident
c) in this poem, Phoenicia ≠ Lebanon? that holds you down?
i have never been to Lebanon before i was
though i have often dreamed of Phoenicia dreaming in this world
the cedar groves, the long low galleys my father was
bazaars raucous with a thousand tongues born in Lebanon ( ≠ Phoenicia)
& before Lebanon was
Babylon by any other—all too Greek for me.
& though he did not die
there, in Phoenicia, or, in Lebanon
i am my father’s daughter (few return from that voyage
May he rest in— like Odysseus, from the sack of—
to die, comforted in his own bed)
who, as a small boy, intimidated at the prospect of the priesthood—
of following in my father’s footsteps
until they ceased to be his—
he only made it to the seminary,
before he came across the Atlantic transformed May he rest
in the middle passage, like the Phoenicians, perhaps
in their long low—
before him never to return—not without my mother & she,
Irish Catholic, with her own “troubles”
you can’t get there from—
perhaps that’s the origin of my infatuation with high heels
or better, mary janes,
eschewing the Jesuits’ cassock
for convent girl plaid
what i never could figure,
my brothers had it worse & they didn’t turn out
sissy boys, she-hes, homo
sexuals, or, as in my case,
were they not raised for dodging bullets, racist dogma,
the Christian Phalange, to fight for ruined
Beirut against all odds, against Muslim, Palestinian?
after Daddy’s death, precocious, they studied the way of the warrior,
or its suburban equivalent, Tae Kwon Do,
the Tae Kwon Do twins used their powers
to protect their too femme older bro’
strutting the corridors of St. Pat’s High,
neither a phobic bone, nor a homo
between their strapping young bodies
so maybe it wasn’t my father’s plans for us
that got me so queer
maybe it was a child’s premonition
of his stroke at 37
an immigrant’s death of stress, a high salt diet, a foreign tongue and, let’s face it,
too many years of eighteen hour days
or perhaps it was smaller
just the way his mouth got tight about
his voice strangled and raging at
a 5 year old’s inability to sleep
i’m not unsympathetic, who wouldn’t
be frustrated by chronic insomnia in a child so young? anyway, who cares why
i ended up my daddy’s little girl?
i ended up my daddy’s little girl didn’t i?
heartbreaking, he didn’t live to see the day & the boy
i was, caught dead in a crossfire in Beirut or Belfast
prostrate before my pretty Mohammed ever after
and nothing to do with Phoenicia
or Lebanon, but ex-girlfriends’ and after my surgery comes
memories of a childhood, Cypress that boy’s dead by any other name
where my cousins also fled a June War in ’67
you know what the dead do best is rise
and, called Phoenix-like, again
to return to Lebanon
where i have never been
my name should be Phoenicia
i’ll prefer Yismine, for my aunt’s sake.
for shame’s sake, my French, my Arabic will mime strangers’ tongues
missing my father’s tongue
the Phoenicians were the ranging traders of another world
on the news tonight shelling in this Lebanon,
a trampled marketplace
a strategic site
occupied by the French, the Americans, the Syrians, the Israelis
and Beirut is a hole in the ground through which the past comes up
my cousin Nada says,
never you mind, cuz, some of the richest people in the world
in that city. it will be beautiful and whole again,
give it five years
just you wait and see! )
i stole this poem from Robert Kroetsch
but don’t feel sad about it, he wasn’t
Phoenician & even at sea, even trading
in words, in the past, in love, in the middle passage
in the in between
i’m not either
but am i Lebanese?
not like that dyke comic,
do you remember her? playing coy,
Ellen? the TV lesbian?
who, coming out on Rosie O’Donnell
was either Lebanese or lesbian, on TV or off
except, perhaps, as in my case
where, sure, say it:
d) all of the above
e) none of the above
so much for that
Read more of Salah's work on the following page. >>>
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