The Gay Male Couple’s Guide to Nonmonogamy 

Talking is Rule Number 1
Here are some things to think about when setting the boundaries for sexual activity outside your primary relationship:

Who
Anyone
Anonymous only
Three-ways only
No friends
No mutual friends
No repeats
Regular fuck buddies OK
Coupled guys only (no singles)
HIV-friendly?

What
Watching/showing off only
Mutual JO only
Oral OK
Anal OK (Top? Bottom? Either?)
Kissing OK
Threesomes
Safer sex only
No dates—just sex
Overnights OK

When
Any time
Only when one of us is out of town
Only when one of us is at work/not at home
Only when it doesn’t conflict with time together
Only when we both agree it’s allowed
Only when we’re together (in a bathhouse or sex club, in a threesome)

Where
Anywhere
Only in public (rest room, bathhouse, gym steam room, park)
Only at his place
Never at his place
Only at home
Never at home
Never in our bed