BY Brandon Voss
July 01 2011 10:00 AM ET
She was just wonderful. She’s so sweet, so loving, and she had a very warm, nurturing presence, which was a wonderful thing to have around on a short, very intense, low-budget shooting schedule. We had a good time.
Did anyone break into “I Am Woman” around the craft services table?
It sort of went without singing. But once in a while, I’d think, Wow, I’m in a scene with Helen Reddy.
I’ve read that you and your husband, Brian Hargrove, enjoy hosting parties at home. Do you fancy yourself a perfect host?
We don’t host very often, so wherever you read that, it was kind of a lie. We have friends over occasionally. I’m far from perfect, but Brian’s a great cook, and he has a great ease about having people over. It’s never a big deal for him, so that makes it comfortable for everyone.
It’s been wonderful to hear you open up about Brian and your relationship in the last few years. Yet, when a gay celebrity makes the transition from privately gay to publicly gay, LGBT media has a long tradition of welcoming them to the family, if you will, with a certain amount of fanfare, major features, and often cover stories. But to this day you still haven’t done a great deal of major gay press. Has that been a conscious decision on your part?
Yeah, it’s been an absolutely conscious decision. I’ve done some gay press, and I’ve been interviewed for The Advocate before, but part of my approach to being gay in public has always been that it shouldn’t be a big deal, so I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. But there came a point when I realized that that could be confused with being ashamed or being afraid, and I never wanted to give that impression. I’ve tried to maintain that balance between living my life and not going out of my way to have any fanfare about it. That’s all. Nothing against any gay publications, and certainly I respect The Advocate, but I was always trying to show a different side, a different way of living life that would still be OK.
When you spoke with Jujamcyn Theaters president Jordan Roth at New York City’s 92nd Street Y last year, you said that you had felt bullied into coming out — “like the bully on the playground was pushing your face in the dirt saying, ‘Say it, say it, say it,’” you described it. I wondered if you saw the gay media as a bully in your situation.
Actually, it had nothing to do with gay media. Earlier in my career, when I’d be talking about completely unrelated subjects, people would feel that it was OK to try to get into my private life, not even sexuality but with politics, family. I’d always been a private person about every aspect of my life, and I didn’t see why I had to change that just because I was an actor. Most of us weren’t trained to be public figures, so you sort of learn these things in public as you go along. There came a point [in 2007] when I doing an interview with an Associated Press interviewer, and he wasn’t asking me about anything related to being gay, and that’s why I opened up about Brian, about moving to California because he wanted to purse a career in writing, and stuff like that. As I said, I didn’t want to inadvertently continue to give the impression that I was in any way trying to hide anything, but I also wanted to be able to talk about it in my own way and on my own terms.
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