Then Beck busted some lunatic ACORN employee for speaking encouragingly to a couple of people who were posing as a prostitute and a pimp. On hidden camera, they told the ACORN lady that they wanted to open a brothel for underage girls from El Salvador, ages 12 to 15, and keep them safe for turning tricks. The out-of-her-gourd ACORN lady was like, “Oh really?” and “Heidi Fleiss is my hero!” Then Beck gets to wring his hands and puff out his cheeks and shake his fists and his pasty white baby face gets all red and he’s intoning OH THE HUMANITY while calling the ACORN lady “ a kindred spirit in hookerosity.” There’s not much you can’t love about that. Meanwhile ACORN says she was edited to make it sound like she said things she didn’t. Not that I really care. It’s right-wing insanity piled on top of left-wing insanity piled on top of ho-cakes. Served to me on my couch. Then he called Jimmy Carter crazy because Carter says Obama haters are racists. Beck accused Carter of using fear... Best of all, Beck once called Obama a racist. In other words, it’s a wheel of entertainment that never stops rolling.

And you can even watch Beck’s commercials now that they’re not all boring national ads. This week I learned of the existence of the Hoveround rolling chair, the zebra-striped Snuggie, Robert Wagner for reverse mortgages and the Egg Genie. It’s a lot of fresh information to process. Now I feel like my Tyra Banks menstruation tutorial has a yang to its yin.

And you thought I was going to spend a thousand words talking about the Whitney Houston interview, didn’t you?

Tags: television