BY Dave White
January 21 2010 1:20 PM ET
January is great when you’re a big TV addict. It’s a new season and a bunch of new shows start up, a fresh chance to be entertained. But I have questions. I have a lot of them, actually. And I’ll narrow it down to the ones I can’t find answers for anywhere else.
*Why did they get rid of the lesbian on White Collar? I started watching this over the holidays. I heard it was good. And I liked that we got a lesbian agent right off the bat. She was pretty (I know that’s not a reason to like someone, but still) and her character seemed like it might get interesting. Then came the second episode stored in my TiVo and bam. Gone. This sucks because, while it seems like there are more homosexual characters than ever on TV, whether on scripted or reality series, we still get presented with a very few unchanging types. She seemed to be nonstereotypical. So sure, recast her and make her straight. I don’t care. Not bothered at all.
*Why is the announcer guy on MANswers always shouting at me? It’s this show where they answer important questions that “real men” want to know about. Like how much beer will fill a swimming pool, stuff like that. And then they show you some jiggly boobs. Brilliant idea, really. And boobs are nice to look at — even gay guys know that. But why all the screaming? Did everyday masculinity suddenly get reduced to nonstop road/roid rage while I was busy eating all that Christmas ham?
*Do I really have to give Modern Family another shot? Because I watched like four episodes, which I think is plenty. But it seems as though every single person I meet and every single real TV critic I read is apeshit for this show. I may, in fact, be the only person annoyed by it. And now people are annoyed at me because of it. It’s just that I get a Desperate Housewives vibration every time I look in its direction. That typical gay sensibility that leaves me cold. Am I just flat-out wrong? I’m willing to admit it if I am. I guess I’ll relaunch the season pass.