Never mind. So what’s your favorite “gay” joke? We can take it.
Um ... fuck, I can’t think of any! Oy, how is this possible?

After you almost kissed Jessica Biel on the VMAs, some lesbian friends of mine called you a total “cunt-tease,” which is a term I’d never heard before. Thoughts?
I’ve never heard that one either, but I love it! Two of my best friends are lesbians — one from L.A. and one from NYC — and they would never call me that, because I think if either of them imagined me in a sexual way, they’d gag. We’re like sisters. But yeah, I’m pretty much a lesbian in every way other than loving penis. I love Nanci Griffith, Patty Griffin, and Tegan and Sara. I play all sports — I have a b-ball, softball glove, and football in my trunk at all times. Plus anyone would tell you I wear cargo pants daily. When I try to dress up, I look like a tranny.

You and Adam Lambert joked about your mutual love of penises when you presented together at the Critics’ Choice Awards in January. What inspired that bit?
I thought of it a few nights before, but Adam came up with saying, “Who doesn’t?” when I said I loved penis. It was awesome. I am such a huge fan of his and I was happy to meet him, albeit briefly, and see that he’s a doll and a half.

Speaking of flamboyant stars to emerge in 2009, what do you think about Lady Gaga?

Love her! I think she’s — as my dad would say — hot shit. I love looking up her old “Stefani Germanotta” stuff on YouTube. She’s so talented.

Tell me about Jill, the perky, sexy office worker you play in your new film, Saint John of Las Vegas. Did you base your performance on anyone in particular?
Maybe a little bit of Jimmy Kimmel’s cousin, Micki. She’s the sweetest, kindest love of a person I know.