Living Out Loud




 I get the impression that Bill Loud might have been in denial that Lance was gay. Is that true?
Pulcini: I don’t know if he was in denial. I think he thought maybe he would change, but the one thing about Bill is, he always loved him, and I think Lance really loved Bill. And you know I think in interviews — even on Dick Cavett — Lance talks about how much he loves his father. They loved each other. They just did not see the world the same way at all.

Springer Berman: Bill was very conservative. He was a man of his [time] — maybe sexually he was of the ’70s, but politically he was of a different time. Bill says, “I didn’t understand his lifestyle.” I think it was not just the fact that he was gay, but also the fact that he was part of this sort of underground — they called it underground. That was the word that they always used. He was part of the underground. But it was the Warhol kind of cutting edge. Those were the people Lance hung with in New York, and I think Bill just didn’t get it. He didn’t get it, he didn’t understand it, and I think it took him a long time to really, you know, accept that Lance was going to be different.

Pulcini: Bill writes Lance this really eloquent letter in the documentary. It’s this beautiful scene where Lance is riding a bike through the hills of Santa Barbara, and you are hearing Bill’s letter to Lance. And you can really feel the closeness there. And then years later Bill was interviewed when Lance is dying and he breaks down in tears and says, “I didn’t do enough. I didn’t understand enough. You know, I was so wrong in the way I saw things.” And it’s very, very moving.


How did you decide to cast Thomas Dekker as Lance?
Pulcini: It was actually quite difficult because Lance is so idiosyncratic. That was the hardest role to cast, and he’s also someone who lends himself to imitation. He has a very specific way of talking and acting, and we saw a lot of people who could imitate him, but there just wasn’t that energy that Thomas brought to it. Thomas is kind of bursting with creative energy the way Lance was. He’s a Renaissance guy. He is directing his own movie now, and he writes music, and you know, he is this really talented young actor, and he just had that kind of same energy that Lance had.

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