Our Favorite Good Christian, Um, "Belles"

The show many LGBTs are eagerly awaiting is finally premiering March 4: Kristin Chenoweth's GCB on ABC. The catty, campy hoedown sounds a bit like Desperate Housewives meets Suburgatory, and frankly, we can't wait. In honor of the new series, which has gone from being called Good Christian Bitches to Good Christian Belles, Untitled Kristin Chenoweth Project, and finally GCB, we've come up with our favorite good Christian bitches from film, TV, politics, and, well, the real world.




Sloane from
Are You There, Chelsea?



Playing her real-life big sister, in NBC's sitcom based on Chelsea Handler's boozy, slutty memoir, Are You There, Vodka? It's Me Chelsea, lets Handler bring her sardonic wit and comic timing to a character you almost love to hate, except. well, you sort of love her more than Laura Prepon's character Chelsea. Confused yet? Tune in and listen to Sloane complain about Chelsea's lifestyle, her drinking, her hedonism, her competitive nature in a way that only loving sisters can. Example: this exchange between Sloane and Chelsea after the latter woman must be bailed out of jail for her drunken shenanigans (and then check out the show's Wikiquote for more of Sloane's bons mots). — Diane Anderson-Minshall 

Sloane: Thank you for getting arrested, by the way. I really enjoyed using a prison toilet for the first time. And hopefully my unborn baby will enjoy her chlamydia. I'm 39 weeks pregnant and my husband's in Afghanistan, and you're the one who's supposed to drive me to the hospital. I am tired of bailing you out.
Chelsea: Sloane, you never bail me out. Yes, I see the irony.
Sloane: I lived with you in the basement for a week after you wrecked dad's car.
Chelsea: Nobody is a good driver when they're 13.
Sloane: And what about the time I handled Dad when you and Olivia had those Marines in your bedroom?
Chelsea: It was Veterans Day. We were being patriotic.
Sloane: Holding a flag between your legs is not patriotism.
Chelsea: I'm really changing things. I even prayed in the holding cell, Sloane.
Sloane: Vodka is not the Lord.
Chelsea: Are you sure? They're both invisible and have a hand in unexplained pregnancies.