No Big Whoop

As big-haired maid
Aretha, Estridge entered next and did an admirable job, all
things considered. But the role had been beefed up and tailored
specifically for Goldberg by Epperson, so Aretha's
streetwise sass rarely rang true. "'Child,
please,' indeed," echoed Statler to Waldorf behind me.
Later, a line about "what witch doctor Barbara Walters
goes to to look so good" didn't land without the wide-eyed
look everyone knew Goldberg would have undoubtedly shot the
audience. You know the look: Kenan Thompson does it during
The View

parodies on
Saturday Night Live

.

The grandiose entrances
of Busch and La Lyp were by far the highlights of the evening.
As Sylvia, Busch was a radiant vision in a chartreuse pantsuit,
though she soon changed into a metallic silver gown. Receiving
equal fanfare and applause, Lypsinka arrived shortly thereafter
as Leatrice, decked out in a formfitting purple ensemble and a
stunning fur cape. "According to the program, it's a faux
from Fabulous Furs," whispered Waldorf to Statler a bit
louder than necessary, just in case someone in my row was
prying the lid off a can of red house paint.

As expected, one-liners
between Sylvia and Leatrice flew from then on like globules of
spittle at a
Flavor of Love

clock ceremony. Though they don't pack the same punch out
of context, I scribbled a few of them down on a damp cocktail
napkin I had shoved in my coat pocket.

"I'll have gin
on the rocks -- but don't make it too strong!"

"I'll play
Harvey Fierstein's gynecologist."

"Three words that
strike fear in the hearts of moviegoers:
starring Kate Hudson.

"

Statler and Waldorf got
a special thrill when a male stripper from Chippendales.com
named Boom-Boom Johnson joined the party (don't ask).
Played by Dashaun Young, who currently appears in slightly more
clothing as Simba in Broadway's
The Lion King

, Boom-Boom encouraged the ladies to do the hand dance from
Beyoncé's "Single Ladies (Put a Ring on
It)" video before putting his bare backside to the
audience and positioning himself directly in front of Aretha to
whip off his thong. (Insert that Whoopi look again here.)

The first act pretty
much ended with Busch and Lypsinka slapping each other and
smacking each other's asses with their script binders.
"That's the best use they got out of those scripts so far
tonight," said Statler.

Nick and I stayed in
our seats during intermission lest we miss any more Muppet wit
or wisdom. Sizing up celebrity scene photographer Patrick
McMullan's slender young male companion, Statler asked,
"Is that his new boy toy?"

"Works for
me," replied Waldorf.