BY Tom Judson

September 23 2009 2:30 PM ET

1 pixel theater | ADVOCATE.COM

TOM JUDSON CANNED HAM2 05 X560 (COURTESY) | ADVOCATE.COM



And She Cooks Too!

Hudson, N.Y. -- "Hey, Trix! I'm going to feature you in the column. Anything you want me to plug?"

"Now that you mention it ... "

"Watch it, Trixie Starr."

"Just send those queens to my website, GayHudson.com. Yeah, that's enough. Or befriend me on Facebook."

"Befriend?"

"I'm in a Jane Austen mood. Get off my back."

"But what about your cookies? 'Trixie's Baked Goods.' Shouldn't I mention that?"

"Great. Another biscotti-baking, cream puff-filling drag queen in The Advocate. Really filling a void there."

"But you do it professionally."

"So does Mrs. Paul."

"Uh, I think ... never mind. Well, how about if I mention your bongo nights?"

"It's bingo, you muscle-bound lummox. Do I look like a beatnik? Please."

"Your Tupperware parties?"

"Yawn."

"You seem to lose interest quickly. Even in the guests on your talk show. Me included."

"Everybody but you, Tim. Uh, Tom."

"You really came through when the first venue for Canned Ham fell through. It worked great at your club. How can I repay that ?"

"Well ... for starters you can level with me about somethin'."

"Anything."

"I got lipstick on my teeth?"



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