#27BiStories: Why a Bisexual's Sexual Orientation Is Still Important Even If They're in a Relationship

If a bisexual person is in a relationship, why is it important they're still labeled as bisexual?



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Is your sexual identity still important even though you’re in a same- or different-gender relationship? If so, Why?

Lucy, 46, Georgia: Yes! I believe who we are is important to us all and we all need the feeling of belonging to and being a part of a community. But for someone who identifies as bi/fluid, it's tough because we don't really fit in anywhere. And yet bi people face discrimination every day in the workplace, in the streets, when seeking asylum, in obtaining proper physicial and mental health care, etc. It's important to me to continue fighting for the liberation of us all and as long as sexual identity is used as the basis for discrimination, it's important to remain visible and vocal.

A.J. , 29, Arizona: Absolutely. My bisexual identity is one of the most important aspects to me. I have always been active in social causes, but once I came out as bisexual and became more and more involved in the bi community, I have found that I have become even more comfortable in my own skin. I am most uncomfortable in situations where I don't think it would be considered appropriate to come out -- situations in which I am positive I am being misidentified as straight. I love that I have the capacity to love across lines of gender and sex. I love connecting with others who have the same capacity. I stand up for my bisexuality so others can do the same. If someone else's coming out experience can be a little easier because I am out and proud, then that is what I aim to do.

Bill, 45, New York: Very much so. I am a bisexual man and I enjoy the fact that I experience the world a bit differently from most. I am happily married but I haven't turned off my attraction to men. I think it is important to be able to accept yourself as you are, and as long as you aren't hurting people, I think it is reasonable to expect that others can accept you as you are.  I feel like I am in a good place with my bisexuality, and since there are so many people who struggle with it, I like to show people that they can be happy with their bisexuality.

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Laura, 48, Netherlands: It’s not "still" important. It’s just as important to me as to a straight or a full-blown gay. It doesn’t determine me, it just determines who I can fall in love with, who I can feel attracted to and with whom I would like to have relationships. I am still bisexual, yes, as stated earlier, that will never end.

Sarah, 57, Oregon: It is more important to me now than it has ever been. I worked hard to fight my internal biphobia. No matter who I am with, I am bisexual. My attractions to different genders does not change with who I am with. 

Levi, 23, Washington, D.C.: It definietly is. I hear people talking shit about bi people all the time (I have several more stories). And it makes me mad at the language they use. Because it's rooted in ignorance, you can only fight it with education. I dream of a world in which my bi boyfriend doesn't feel uncomfortable in gay spaces.