#27BiStories: Tell Us Something We Don't Know

We asked 27 bisexuals to tell us something about their relationship and sexuality that they'd like the general public to understand.



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What is something you want the general public to know about your relationship and about your sexuality?

April, 45, Iowa: I am bisexual. To me that means that I am attracted sexually and romantically to people of the same gender as myself and people of a gender different than myself. I am bisexual regardless of who I am dating.

Jan, 51, and Hew, 45, California: I've been faithful to my bi husband for 16 years. My bisexuality is an integral part of my identity, about which I'm happy and proud.

Nicole, 31, Washington: I wish more people understood that I didn't choose a gender. I chose a person. I chose love.

Ted, 45, ColoradoJust because I have two female partners does not mean my relationships with men are "impulsive" or "sporadic," as one guy said to me at the end of our last date. I have dated primarily gay men, but unless they have been part of another subculture themselves — like gay leather or polyamory — they really don’t understand being bisexual and married. They just assume everything is done on the sly. I've gotten messages on my OKCupid profile that have basically said, "When you get tired of the wife, hit me up." This is insulting, and also a complete misunderstanding of my relationship. I am always up front with my partners, and my dates, about who I'm going out with, and who knows about it. Being bisexual is important to me and it fits me. The "either/or" game that gays and straights play has begun to feel ignorant and hostile to me. I'm attracted to both genders, and that's that.

Elisa, 55 , California: I wish nobody cared about gender identity and sexual orientation and that no one needed any of these labels. Alas, we don't live in that utopia (yet). I've met some lesbians who seem to wish I were a lesbian instead of "just bisexual." They "won't date bisexuals." I feel sorry for people who are so narrow-minded.

Robyn, 55, Massachusetts: Sexuality is complicated. People are complicated. And that's a beautiful thing.

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