— Ellen DeGeneres (@TheEllenShow) March 3, 2014
It's fair to say that Ellen DeGeneres phoned in her Oscar hosting duties, literally, from her Samsung. DeGeneres found time while hosting the Academy awards to also win Twitter by obliterating the record for most retweets. Her epic selfie with nearly a dozen other celebrities racked up more than 1 million retweets in under 30 minutes. DeGeneres broke the record held by President Obama after his historic 2012 election, which peaked at just under 780,000 retweets.
The saddest part of winning an Oscar is knowing your next film might be Snow Dogs.
— Michelle Wolf (@michelleisawolf) March 3, 2014
*putin voice* "Jared Leto has point." *withdraws from Crimea*
— Dan Amira (@DanAmira) March 3, 2014
As far as hairstyles go, does Pink have the Macklemore or does Macklemore have the Brad Pitt or does Bono have the Pink? #Oscars
— Damien Fahey (@DamienFahey) March 3, 2014
Ellen Degeneres has a Daniel Day Lewis level dedication to this awful pizza bit #oscars2014
— Mike Lawrence (@TheMikeLawrence) March 3, 2014
It's taking a really long time to clear three pizzas in a room full of hundreds. #AcademyAwards
— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) March 3, 2014
Best actress goes to Calista Flockhart raising her hand for pizza.
— rachel lichtman (@DJRotaryRachel) March 3, 2014
Jolie is a great lesson in not writing-off young women who carry around vials of blood and let horses lick their boobs. #Oscars2014
— Erin Gibson (@gibblertron) March 3, 2014
180,000 babies in 2014 will now be named Lupita.
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) March 3, 2014
Whoopi Goldberg only agreed to wear a dress if she could wear a full tuxedo underneath it. #Oscars
— Louis Virtel (@louisvirtel) March 3, 2014
Nothing hushes a room of catty gays like Bette Midler on stage. #Oscars
— Justin Martindale (@justmartindale) March 3, 2014
— Adam Lehman (@AtomLehman) March 3, 2014
My hero is me, giving my own eulogy. #McConaugheyOscarSpeech
— Leah Dubie (@leahdubie) March 3, 2014
Poor Leo. Always a bridesmaid, never the naked pot-smoking bongo-playing guy from Dazed and Confused and Magic Mike who won an Oscar.
— Emerson Collins (@ActuallyEmerson) March 3, 2014