The World's Greatest, Gayest Insults

Here's evidence we might just cast shade the most effectively.



For this article, Madonna counts as British. She certainly sounds that way.

"Arianna Stassinopoulos Huffington is so boring, you fall asleep halfway through her name."
— Alan Bennett

"The easiest way for you to lose 10 pounds is just to take off your wig."
— Madonna to Elton John

"She looks like a fucking fairground stripper."
— Elton on Madonna

"I see her as one great stampede of lips directed at the nearest derriere."
— Noël Coward

"Nature played a cruel trick on her by giving her a waxed mustache."
— Alan Bennett

"She had much in common with Hitler, only no mustache."
— Noël Coward

"Nature not content with denying him the ability to think, has endowed him with the ability to write."
— A. E. Housman

"She plunged into a sea of platitudes, and with the powerful breast stroke of a channel swimmer, made her confident way towards the white cliffs of the obvious."
— W. Somerset Maugham

"She proceeds to dip her little fountain-pen filler into pots of oily venom and to squirt the mixture at all her friends."
— Harold Nicholson

"You were born with your legs apart. They'll send you to the grave in a Y-shaped coffin."
— Joe Orton

"He's completely unspoiled by failure."
— Noël Coward