The World's Greatest, Gayest Insults

Here's evidence we might just cast shade the most effectively.

BY Christopher Harrity

August 13 2014 7:00 AM ET

BRITS
For this article, Madonna counts as British. She certainly sounds that way.

"Arianna Stassinopoulos Huffington is so boring, you fall asleep halfway through her name."
— Alan Bennett

"The easiest way for you to lose 10 pounds is just to take off your wig."
— Madonna to Elton John

"She looks like a fucking fairground stripper."
— Elton on Madonna

"I see her as one great stampede of lips directed at the nearest derriere."
— Noël Coward

"Nature played a cruel trick on her by giving her a waxed mustache."
— Alan Bennett

"She had much in common with Hitler, only no mustache."
— Noël Coward

"Nature not content with denying him the ability to think, has endowed him with the ability to write."
— A. E. Housman

"She plunged into a sea of platitudes, and with the powerful breast stroke of a channel swimmer, made her confident way towards the white cliffs of the obvious."
— W. Somerset Maugham

"She proceeds to dip her little fountain-pen filler into pots of oily venom and to squirt the mixture at all her friends."
— Harold Nicholson

"You were born with your legs apart. They'll send you to the grave in a Y-shaped coffin."
— Joe Orton

"He's completely unspoiled by failure."
— Noël Coward

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