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Bees to Honey

Gay blogger Jeremy Hooper leaves behind the blogosphere’s bitch-and-smear and learns that it’s more effective to befriend your enemies.
From The Advocate  May 6, 2008
Bees to Honey

Most of us are aware of the intensely antigay Westboro Baptist Church, which has staged public demonstrations for nearly two decades, claiming everything from hurricanes to AIDS to the Iraq war is divine retribution for our country’s tolerance of homosexuality. (Check out its subtly named website, GodHatesFags.com.) But who among us can say he’s given church leader Shirley Phelps-Roper a primer on bagels and lox?

Over the 3½ years that I’ve been writing the blog Good as You, I’ve had the opportunity to engage in e-conversations with so many antigay activists my in-box is starting to look like it was transplanted from Mike Huckabee’s computer. And while heated discussions with these “pro-family” types about our theological differences (and their predictions of my future residency in hell) have certainly occurred, they have also surprised me with their kindness, genuine concern for my well-being, and sincerity.

I’ve had higher-ups at Focus on the Family eagerly offer me a tour of their Colorado Springs compound. A prominent “ex-gay” advocate invited my partner and me to a family dinner. Other times, someone who has publicly denounced gay life and gay love will write to tell me they found a quip I wrote about them to be witty and spot-on. The common message seems to be: “We hate everything you have to say, but we enjoy the tone with which you say it.”

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Check out Hooper's blog at GoodAsYou.org.

Reader Comments

These comments are reproduced as written by visitors to this Web site. They have not been edited for content, grammar, or spelling. The viewpoints appearing here are those of the writer, and do not necessarily reflect the opinion or views of advocate.com, The Advocate, or its affiliates.

  • Name: Mary
    Date posted: 2008-05-11 11:46 AM
    Hometown: Austin, TX

    Comment:

    Although I certainly can't blame any gay person for not wanting to strike up a friendship with the anti-gay vilifiers, my firm conviction is that the more contact those negative people have with gays, the more change can happen. The whole focus of the anti-gay crowd has been on same sex attraction and how that is expressed. Once they experience the fact that gay people have many facets to their lives, contributing to the community, holding jobs, raising children, getting the laundry done and putting out the recycling, things start to change for the better. I do have problems with the "love" expressed by the real haters in the anti-gay ranks. What they are actually into is condescension, not true regard. They always begin the dialogue speaking about love and wind up with condemnation. I believe the dialogue must begin with a humble, "Please forgive us," on the part of non-gays." Then the discussion can really begin.


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