
Thanks to youtube, anyone anywhere who does something idiotic can become famous whether they deserve it or not. Behold the Miss Teen USA contestant who mangled a question about maps; Chris “Leave Britney Alone!” Crocker; or hapless beauty queen Stacey Hedger, who innocently and ineptly played “Star Wars” on her trumpet at a pageant years ago and was probably sitting quietly at home when she suddenly found herself dealing with online threats. Surprise! You’re famous -- and so untalented we want you to die!
However, all of these instant stars are just fluff, unlike new Internet sensation Sally Kern, a hitherto unknown Oklahoma state representative and religious nut who was recorded while speaking to a tiny group of God-Knows-Who-in-God-Knows-Where, Okla. She decided to take a break from her pothole-filling and garbage collection duties and grace her listeners with her vast knowledge of homosexuality, making statements like “the homosexual agenda is destroying this nation—OK, it’s just a fact”; declaring gays worse than terrorists; and confiding, “I think we’ve been suckered by this lie of separation of church and state.”
I can hear the loudspeakers now: “At tonight’s performance the role of Moron, usually played by the dead Jerry Falwell, will be played by Sally Kern.”
Rather than retreating into hiding after her YouTube moment, Kern was more than ready for her close-up. She’s working her newfound notoriety like Monica Lewinsky on Saturday Night Live. At first Kern claimed her comments were taken out of context, but you couldn’t mistake the meaning of “the biggest threat our nation has, even more so than terrorism or Islam” even if it was a lyric from Sweeney Todd. And I’m over the “out of context” excuse, which is always made when the speaker should simply say “Open mouth, insert foot, swallow.”
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