Issue Number 1012 | Aging in America | Advocate.com Aging in America  |  | Advocate.com

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Aging in America
Forget canasta -- senior citizens are having sex just like the rest of us. But until gay groups like SAGE came around, no one ever talked to them about it. As Kate Dailey finds out, that’s just one of many innovations credited to gays and lesbians.
An Advocate.com exclusive posted  August 12, 2008
Aging in America

For anyone who thinks growing older is just about playing bingo and learning to crochet, consider the intimacy room. Nursing homes and senior care centers that accept federal funds must provide space for private, intimate time with a loved one (or a stranger from down the hall). And as the director of advocacy and training for Services and Advocacy for GLBT Elders, a nationally focused group with offices in New York City, it’s Karen Taylor’s job to ensure that gay residents have the same access to the intimacy room as hetero seniors. But in doing so, she discovered that no one was talking to seniors about sex. “We were embarrassing people just by bringing it up,” says Taylor. “Very open-minded folks would say, ‘I don’t ask anyone about their sex lives.’ Well, you should!”

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, HIV rates are climbing among America’s elderly population, forcing retirement on the notion of sexless seniors. But mainstream service providers, Taylor found, weren’t talking about sex with their clients—until she and her fellow gay advocates did. It’s just one of many examples of how, in the course of fighting for better, more sensitive treatment of gay seniors, groups like SAGE have improved patient care for everyone.

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Reader Comments

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  • Name: Aging consciously
    Date posted: 2008-07-05 7:12 AM
    Hometown: San Franscico

    Comment:

    Bravo. I second the comment above about the overwhelming focus of this article being aging gay adults and their sex lives? Clearly this was written by a much younger person since while sexuality is part of our entire experience throughout our life it does NOT define an individual, nor is it the central organizing aspect of ones life- my life at least. What about how we form relationships, ways to encourage deepening connections and new relationship development esp as many of our friends are dying as we age. Refocusing on whats important to us vs sex. This is why I stop subscribing to many gay publications as i get older. They just do not represent my experience anymore. Get some senior gays on staff!! That may help.


  • Name: Amazed by the Stupidity
    Date posted: 2008-07-04 2:05 AM
    Hometown: Chicago

    Comment:

    Is every aspect of life focused around sexuality? Is that the very best that you can come up with in regards to discussing life as a Senior Citizen? Give me a break!!! It may be that's what your lives have been reduced to...How incredibly shallow & sad. My heart breaks for those of you who find this type of article amusing or liberating. There is so much more to life than trying to encourage sexuality & intimacy amongst senior citizens. While I hope to enjoy intimacy with my husband into the later years of my life, that is but a small fraction of who I am or where I find JOY in my life. Wake up people... How about asking these people about their life experience & understanding who they are, not what they do in their bedrooms. This article is absolutely ridiculous.


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