Jim Howley,
33
Hilliard, Ohio
Likes: heart,
eyes
Dislikes: “I love all of
myself”
“Before I transitioned, my physical self was such a burden to me,” says 33-year-old Jim Howley. “I tried to kill myself seven or eight times.” In the seven years since Howley decided to live his life as a man, he’s moved from Ohio to Los Angeles, fallen in love with a woman, and earned a little notoriety (thanks to his appearance on the Logo reality show Transamerican Love Story). One of eight men competing for Calpernia Addams’s attention [see page TK], Howley’s affable charm and good looks carried him through to the finals.
Howley, who now works as a writer and activist, says he’s finally comfortable with his body—and how his outside matches the person he is on the inside. He’s done agonizing over his body too. So done that even his tattoos aren’t aesthetic, but a document of the struggles he’s overcome. For instance, on his chest is a locked heart rusted shut with tears that represent the shame and humiliation he’s endured. “I’ve come to realize my spirit transcends my body,” he says. “Regardless of what my physical self looks like, I know my spirit is beautiful.”
Today, Howley says, people are often incredulous when he comes out as transgender. “When someone disbelieves my trans status, I laugh to myself because I’ve gone so far to try to be who I am,” he says. “But it’s reassuring because it’s the point I want to be at.”
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