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A Year of Thinking Gay
A flurry of personal appearances and professional obligations causes one man to hit his gay threshold.
From The Advocate  November 4, 2008
A Year of Thinking Gay

This year i have officially become a professional queer. My travels took me to a gay bar in Phnom Penh, Cambodia, and a drag bar in Denver. I attended a blur of circuit parties and a marathon of gay weddings in California. I stood up in front of gay crowds in places as predictable as Miami and as unexpected as Warwick, R.I. And to keep it all straight, I wrote a journal. Here are the highlights.

February 14, Phnom Penh, Cambodia
Who knew Valentine’s Day was such a big deal in Cambodia? Everywhere people peddling heart-shaped candy and flowers identical to the plastic-wrapped variety they sell at stoplights in L.A. As part of my assignment for The Out Traveler magazine, I went to three different gay bars and ran into gossipy people I knew at all three places. Great. I’m now considered a whore on a global scale. But the Khmer scene is new and lovely. Androgynously handsome Southeast Asian men laugh, flirt, and dance as if they’ve never had their hearts broken. I’m envious and bewildered -- I can’t remember the last time I felt the same way.

F ebruary 24, West Hollywood
As host of the Trevor Project’s Oscar viewing party/fund-raiser, I turned the most boring Academy Awards in recent memory into a series of drinking games. Standing on the bar, I shouted things like, “If you haven’t seen any of the films nominated for Best Picture, take a shot!” and “If you agree that Heidi Klum’s dress makes her look like Dracula’s mom, down the hatch!” The entire bar was bombed before the actual ceremony went live. Add to that the little-known fact that if you stand in one place long enough you’ll hear everything: Beautiful men confessed to being former fatties or headgear-wearing geeks. Lacquered, coiffed, poised, and pumped, L.A. men are a gang of Adonises terrified of looking foolish. Nobody feels good enough. My favorite overheard comment of the night came when Tilda Swinton won: “Doesn’t Clay Aiken look lovely?” 

March 17, New York City
Wearing a khaki suit I’d bought off the rack in Singapore with a pair of Marc Jacobs wing tips, I walked the red carpet at the GLAAD Media Awards feeling perfectly presentable until I was stopped by Tim Gunn. Apparently the back vents of my suit were still sewn together and I was trailing thread. He borrowed scissors from a cameraman and cut them open right there with cameras clicking. I sat at a table next to Barbara Walters and was so starstruck I stared at her like she was a painting. I sat next to Randy Jackson; his feet are enormous.

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Reader Comments

These comments are reproduced as written by visitors to this Web site. They have not been edited for content, grammar, or spelling. The viewpoints appearing here are those of the writer, and do not necessarily reflect the opinion or views of advocate.com, The Advocate, or its affiliates.

  • Name: E. Dan Klepper
    Date posted: 2008-10-12 12:18 PM
    Hometown: Marathon, TX

    Comment:

    Alec, You're a riot. I'd love to read the entire journal. Perhaps Advocate will publish more of it.


  • Name: Johann
    Date posted: 2008-10-10 10:53 PM
    Hometown: Seattle

    Comment:

    Your column made me smile and I liked reading it all except for your remarks made when you attended the Sept. 20th, Seattle NW Gala Dinner. You saved face in apologizing...somewhat. It still was a hurtful and cruel thing to say about a helpless child. I would hope you think a wee bit more next time before saying anything like that. You state that you think that politcal correctness is just another form of censorship. I won't completely disagree. However, this was in extremely poor taste. I'm a strong supporter of the Obama/Biden ticket and personally think that comments like this hurt this ticket. She will destroy herself this election all by herself. I can see where a comment like the one you made about Palin's youngest child give us a bad name.


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