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Issue 990
August 14, 2007
Counter to the culture

I'm reading through your Aug 14th, 2007 issue now, and I just want to commend Patrick McDonald on his choice to refrain from sex until he is in a committed relationship. At 27 years old, I thought I was the only gay guy out there with that mindset. It's refreshing to know that I'm not alone. I'll spare you the details, but suffice to say that when it comes to intimacy there are certain lines that I just won't cross, even with my past boyfriends. There are certain things that I just want to save for "the one." This has caused some issues in my past relationships, and tends to make me feel somewhat uncomfortable when I go out on the weekends. I have a hard time because if someone is talking to me at a bar, I get the feeling that it's because they think I'll be going home with them at the end of the night. Also, I feel bad for wasting their time if they were just looking to hook up. While sex is definitely fun, I've never understood the allure of doing it with just anyone. To me it's much more important to do it with someone I care about. I wish more gay people would understand that we don't have to subscribe to the stereotype that all gay people want is sex sex sex. We can be deeper than that.

Ben Smith
San Jose, CA
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