Still shocked by
how many of us tolerate stab-in-the-back innuendo. Most
gay men feel too intelligent and sophisticated to be the
target of dirt or slander. It's precisely those who
live as make-believe sophisicates who have difficulty
seeing the widespread mockery in much of their
behavior. Gay liberation has yet to free them from
disapproving of their own homosexuality, and this
feeling of shame is rarely faced but disguised as
chronic back-biting. To quote my old friend Dr. Charles
Silverstein, the rude gay guy believes that gay men should
be punished for ... "well, not for our wrong-doing but
our wrong-being." This way of thinking poisons
everyone's minds. It undermines solidarity and makes
it impossible to design collective solutions to collective
problems. Tormenting each other loses any chance for
happiness. Unhappily you're only trying to transfer
your feeling of inadequacy to other gay guys. Stop
using phrases like, "He's a dizzy faggot," or "A bunch
of sissies," or "He's such a bitch." This only puts
your gay brother down. This only breeds isolation because it
holds yourself in low regard, and then you cannot love
another man, or find yourself worthy of love. Those of
you who make fun or ridicule each other still secretly
entertain the fantasy that some day you will go straight.
You have straight friends, think you're known as straight on
the job, or your families consider you straight. Oh,
you think you remain sexually undefined - or so you
think. Oh, how wrong you are.