Dear Carlton,
While you are certainly entitled to your opinion -- and
believe me, it is welcomed -- I think you might have missed
the mark, at least on me. The "someone" that you claim
that I had "bareback sex" with was a partner of mine,
whom I made the CONSCIOUS and INFORMED decision to
have sex without a condom with. He is also a positive
man, and the choice in that matter was ours to make. What
you consider to be "arrogant, selfish and hypocritical," I
call making a decision about what and how I use my
body. Your response evokes more pity from me than it
does shame, if you would truly be a person wagging
your finger saying "I got what I deserved." It seems to
me that "old timers" such as yourself should take a good and
hard look at why they are where they are, instead of
publicly lashing out at others. Am I to believe that
you have never had unprotected sex in your life, and
if so how exactly did you become infected or did you forget?
Ultimately you can be as angry as you choose at myself and
Adam for having been FRANK and HONEST about what are
lives are like. I think the point of the article was
less that we represent HIV + gay men and more a look
into our day to day lives. While you may scold us for our
behavior I wonder if you would have had the guts to
speak about your life openly and honestly in a public
forum. Your "Holier than Tho" attitude in your letter
is what I think fuels this epidemic as we know it. While you
may not like the manner in which I live my life, how dare
you judge! There is nothing irresponsible or childish
about communicating with a partner and making a
decision. What you have done in your letter is provide
a perfect example of why HIV/AIDS in this country is
shrouded in shame and secrecy. I have never thought of
myself as the norm in any situation and I have no
desire to be what closed-minded "old timers" such as
yourself would describe as such.