Labor of Love

Our situation
sparks legal, political, and social unknowns. We have only
begun experiencing opposition from people who are upset by
our situation. Doctors have discriminated against us,
turning us away due to their religious beliefs. Health
care professionals have refused to call me by a male
pronoun or recognize Nancy as my wife. Receptionists have
laughed at us. Friends and family have been
unsupportive; most of Nancy’s family
doesn’t even know I’m transgender.

This whole
process, from trying to get pregnant to being pregnant, has
been a challenge for us. The first doctor we approached was
a reproductive endocrinologist. He was shocked by our
situation and told me to shave my facial hair. After a
$300 consultation, he reluctantly performed my initial
checkups. He then required us to see the clinic’s
psychologist to see if we were fit to bring a child into
this world and consulted with the ethics board of his
hospital. A few months and a couple thousand dollars
later, he told us that he would no longer treat us,
saying he and his staff felt uncomfortable working with
“someone like me.”

In total, nine
different doctors have been involved. This is why it took
over one year to get access to a cryogenic sperm bank to
purchase anonymous donor vials, and why Nancy and I
eventually resorted to home insemination.