A Straight Year on the Gay Rodeo

  March 13, 2011 — Dallas
“Everyone moved slow today after an epic night. After the rodeo, I tried homemade moonshine for the first time ever. And apparently I tried it continually. Because this morning, while stumbling through the hotel’s continental breakfast, a strong hand squeezed my shoulder, trailed by a noticeably male voice: 'Have fun last night, Mr. Matt? Sure seemed to enjoy yourself.'

"When I turned my heart sunk into my stomach: a man I have never seen before in my life calling me by name, intimately rubbing my shoulder with a familiarity that immediately swore me off moonshine for the rest of my life.

'"Don’t worry, sugar, I’m hungover too.'

"My mind struggled to remember just what the hell was in that moonshine.

"'Uh, I’m sorry?' is all I could manage to whisper.

"I couldn’t recall a single post-moonshine detail from the evening. Don’t panic, be polite, get more info. 'I’ve been meeting so many people this weekend, I seem to have forgotten your name.'

'"You must really have had more to drink than I thought!' he laughed. I sweat. Some faceless diner shouted out that I was a rascal. 'Matt, you idiot, it’s Shilo. Slash, also Brian.' I took a closer look and recognized the same facial structure of the friendly drag queen who’d kindly taken me under her wing all weekend. But with no more highlighted wig, heavy eyeliner or the Nerf-football-halves stuffed in a bra, she was now very much a man. It was my first drag-dupe.”