With Father’s Day around the corner, everyone is forced to buy Dad yet another gift he’ll forget about within a day. Take it from this gay dad, the rules are a little different for us.
Save the ties and grill-related items for your hetero dad, and make sure to put some thought into his gift. The consequences are too severe if you fuck this up — getting a cold shoulder from a gay dad could send you to therapy. Luckily for you, I’ve created this guide to gift giving that will not only ensure he is happy but will also get you better gifts in the future.
And don’t forget, it's not OK to buy one gift for a couple, you have to buy two. Get those wallets out and prepare to go into some serious credit card debt.
1. American Horror Story: Coven on Blu-ray ($54; available for preorder)
Chances are good that he has already watched and rewatched and worshipped this season. Preorder the Blu-ray to ensure that it will arrive on his doorstep the day it is released. Caution: may cause him to go on and on and on about Jessica Lange's fabulousness for the entirety of the day. Additionally, he may try to use bitchcraft on you and succeed.
2. Clarisonic Mia electronic facial brush ($99)
This one is a no-brainer. Just tell him it keeps him looking young. Available in more colors than a Volkswagen Beetle, this little wonder uses sonic technology to detoxify and exfoliate your face. Used daily, it can dramatically slow down the effects of aging, which will dramatically slow down his bitching about aging. Special clue: Get it in his favorite color and have it personally engraved with the name by which you refer to him.