CONTACTStaffCAREER OPPORTUNITIESADVERTISE WITH USPRIVACY POLICYPRIVACY PREFERENCESTERMS OF USELEGAL NOTICE
© 2024 Pride Publishing Inc.
All Rights reserved
All Rights reserved
By continuing to use our site, you agree to our Private Policy and Terms of Use.
It's a breezy Monday in WeHo, the kind that makes you believe anything is possible. My partner, Angela, and I rush down Santa Monica Boulevard to A Different Light bookstore. We're going to meet David Sedaris. Angela seems content to jog, but I'm all-out sprinting. "Hurry up! His reading starts in two hours."
The extra time allows me to fantasize about meeting him. I'll be sitting in the front row, all genderqueer with my faux-hawk and faded Diesel jeans, just boyish enough to catch David's eye, at which point he'll say to me, in his demure Truman Capote-esque voice, "Tania Katan? People compare me to you all the time. I hear you have a new book coming out--can I give you a quote for the cover?"
Oh, the quote. See, my new memoir is coming out, and my strategy is to get Mr. Sedaris to sign Me Talk Pretty One Day.
Then I can take what he's written and tailor it to fit my book-cover needs.
David arrives early. There are only 10 of us. It's like an intimate dinner party. I take a deep breath: "Hi, David. I love your writing." I hand him my worn copy of Me Talk Pretty to sign.
"Could you spell your name?" he says.
"T-a-n-i-a. I'm a writer too."
"You've got a lot of energy." David leans in to my book and scrawls: "Tania, you are a firecracker! Keep up the writing! Love, David Sedaris."
So many options for a cover quote: "A firecracker up the Sedaris!" "Tania, you are David Sedaris!" Could life get better than this?
Yes, in fact. We're skipping out of the bookstore when Angela mouths, "Paris Hilton." Paris is clutching the hand of the other white Paris and heading toward us.
"Hey, Paris," I say. Angela scampers away, scared of what I might do. Paris shoots me a sideways smile and presses her sandaled toes into the cement, as if putting out a cigarette. I'm pretty sure she wants to make out with me.
"First David Sedaris, now you," I say, watching her eyes glaze over with lack of recognition.
"That's hot," she offers.
Then it hits me: Paris Hilton is a funny memoirist too. I mean, who hasn't read Confessions of an Heiress? Well, I haven't. But with Paris and Sedaris on my book cover, I'm bound to have a best seller. I rummage through my courier bag in search of a receipt, a Band-Aid, anything. And then the god of book sales shines his light on me. "Paris, could you sign something?" I ask.
"Sure," she says, lifting her coltlike face to stare coyly into my eager blue eyes.
I hand her a yellow plastic-wrapped maxi pad. "Make it out to Tania."
Paris looks at me as if I've asked her to do her own taxes. But as she leaves, she does scribble something on the smooth plastic wrapper. Afterward I try to make it out. It could be her name. Or maybe it's her phone number. For the book cover, I think I'll just go with the quote she gave me in person: "That's hot."
Want more breaking equality news & trending entertainment stories?
Check out our NEW 24/7 streaming service: the Advocate Channel!
Download the Advocate Channel App for your mobile phone and your favorite streaming device!
From our Sponsors
Most Popular
Here Are Our 2024 Election Predictions. Will They Come True?
November 07 2023 1:46 PM
17 Celebs Who Are Out & Proud of Their Trans & Nonbinary Kids
November 30 2023 10:41 AM
Here Are the 15 Most LGBTQ-Friendly Cities in the U.S.
November 01 2023 5:09 PM
Which State Is the Queerest? These Are the States With the Most LGBTQ+ People
December 11 2023 10:00 AM
These 27 Senate Hearing Room Gay Sex Jokes Are Truly Exquisite
December 17 2023 3:33 PM
10 Cheeky and Homoerotic Photos From Bob Mizer's Nude Films
November 18 2023 10:05 PM
30 Steamy Photos of Folsom Street Fair 2023 Debauchery
October 15 2023 11:06 PM
42 Flaming Hot Photos From 2024's Australian Firefighters Calendar
November 10 2023 6:08 PM
These Are the 5 States With the Smallest Percentage of LGBTQ+ People
December 13 2023 9:15 AM
60 Burly Pics from Bearrison Street Fair 2022
October 08 2023 8:30 PM
Watch Now: Advocate Channel
Trending Stories & News
For more news and videos on advocatechannel.com, click here.
Trending Stories & News
For more news and videos on advocatechannel.com, click here.
Latest Stories
Houthis sentence 9 men to death on dubious 'sodomy' charges in Yemen
March 27 2024 2:39 PM
Pride
Yahoo FeedBreaking boundaries in gender-free fashion with Stuzo Clothing
March 27 2024 2:15 PM
BREAKING: Nex Benedict's autopsy report released
March 27 2024 1:00 PM
Meta is failing its LGBTQ+ users, says new GLAAD report
March 27 2024 12:24 PM
79% of American workers say anti-LGBTQ+ laws impact where they move: report
March 27 2024 11:41 AM
Plus
Yahoo FeedInjectable HIV treatment, prevention: Everything you need to know
March 26 2024 10:45 PM
Ronna McDaniel, tied up by her Trump lies, drowns in an aquarium of her own making
March 26 2024 9:00 PM
The ultimate guide to cannabis in Provincetown
March 26 2024 6:40 PM
New York Times fails to include trans voices in coverage, say GLAAD, Media Matters
March 26 2024 6:31 PM
Pete Buttigieg commits federal resources to Baltimore bridge collapse recovery
March 26 2024 5:47 PM