COMMENTARY: New Moon is almost here. You may not be one of the bloodthirsty “fanpires” who have been camping outside of theaters waiting for the premiere on Monday, but still it’s hard not to be as giddy as a teenage girl about it. Breaking records in advance ticket sales, its stars plastered on every magazine cover and mindless website, the Twilight follow-up is turning out to be a gigantic pop culture tidal wave that has the potential to engulf Titanic and every previous blockbuster in box office sales.

Gay and lesbian audiences are certainly not immune to the hype, and who can blame us — the cast is chock-full of heartthrobs who are impossible to ignore. Not only do we have Robert Pattinson with his wintry beauty and red, red Kool-Aid lips, but there is Kellan Lutz with his lusty frat-boy bod, Taylor Lautner’s sweet face and concertedly ripped physique, and a slew of steamy minor roles (like crazy-cute Peter Facinelli’s Daddy Cullen or Edi Gathegi’s stern, dreadlocked Laurent). Even Kristen Stewart is turning out to be a hot goofy tomboy object of desire — the Shane we have all been longing for since The L Word finished its run.

Moody, alluring, even a little campy, the Twilight saga has all the sexy requirements it takes to go down in the gay — ahem — annals of pop culture history. It’s not hard to see a future of Taylor Lautner shirtless montage videos playing in a loop at gay bars ... or even an Edward Cullen drag king contest.

The only problem is — it’s not really that gay. At all. A quick scan of the books (it doesn’t take that much time) finds absolutely zero confident, out gay or lesbian characters. Maybe there is a scene or two where guys get all half naked and fight with gushing testosterone, or a girl strokes Bella’s hair, or an androgynous vampire in Italy acts suggestive — but there is nothing more.

This lack of pink makes sense once you know that the author of the mega-popular series, Stephenie Meyer, is a devout Mormon who is a faithful member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and graduate of Brigham Young University — not exactly the most gay-friendly environment.

Meyer's religious background hasn’t escaped the gay blogosphere. There have been some intelligent, penetrating questions among many sites about the motivations of Meyer and the subsequent film projects — and whether this is something we gays and lesbians should be obsessing over. It brings up an interesting quandary: In our current political state as a minority, just how are our dollars and sexual energy being used?