Should Gay Grooms Or Lesbian Brides Dress Like Twins?

I’m hearing more and more frequently from gay couples who are at odds over how to dress for their wedding or commitment ceremony. After agreeing on everything from the budget to the venue—even the choice of rings and the seating arrangements—things fall apart at the last moment over wedding attire. One bride-to-be wrote: “We agree on almost all the details, except the all-important one of what we should wear. She really wants the full princess treatment—a classic silk or organza gown—and even something in her hair that might actually resemble a tiara. The problem is, that’s just not who I am!”

Of course, one of the challenges here is that there’s not a long history of same-sex weddings to draw upon. (At the same time, that lack of history can also be very liberating). Still, there certainly have been some high-profile couples in recent years (Sir Elton and David Furnish, George Takei and Brad Altman, not to mention Ellen and Portia) who’ve partnered with style, and they can serve as your guides down the aisle.

Role models aside, there are some basic principles that should help couples reach a solution that will make two grooms or brides happy.