What to Expect at a Gay Wedding
BY Steven Petrow
July 22 2011 10:00 AM ET
How do we refer to each other after we marry?
This is the number 1 question I get from both gay couples and their straight friends. For married straight folks, itâ€™s so de rigueur: husband and wife. Of course, once you gay-marry, itâ€™s wonderful to call each other â€śhusbandâ€ť or â€świfeâ€ť if thatâ€™s comfortable for you. Some gay couples are still getting used to these new labels and may find it awkward to introduce â€śmy new wifeâ€ť at an office function. You may prefer to stay with â€śpartnerâ€ť or to refer to each other one way among your gay friends and another way out in the world. But weâ€™ve worked hard to gain the right to legally marry, so Iâ€™m an advocate of letting the world know that someone has officially pronounced us â€śhusband and husbandâ€ť or â€śwife and wife.â€ť
Do we change our names?
You certainly donâ€™t have to, but more and more couples are hyphenating their names (Frank and Mark Roberts-Stasio), using both their names (Frank Roberts Stasio and Mark Roberts Stasio), choosing one partnerâ€™s family name (Frank and Mark Roberts, aka â€śthe Robertsesâ€ť), or creating a new name (how about â€śthe Robiosâ€ť?). Still, if youâ€™re like most gay couples youâ€™ll stick with your original surnames. The downside of that approach is that it doesnâ€™t give you the instant family identity that a shared surname confers. Regardless of which option you choose, your wedding announcement should make clear how youâ€™d like to be referred to as a couple. For instance, a recent New York Times wedding announcement noted prominently â€śThe couple is using the surname Epstein.â€ť
Sign Up For Email Updates
- Media Legendary Gay Gossip Columnist Michael Musto Responds to Being Laid Off 2 hours 41 min ago
- Marriage Equality Vive la France! Hollande Signs Marriage Equality Bill 12:20 PM
- Photography Photos: Cuba Libre 5:29 AM
- Television These 20 Sexy Pics of Stephen Amell Will Hit Your Bullseye May 17 2013 9:00 PM
- Politics Portugal Approves Adoption Rights for Same-Sex Spouses May 17 2013 8:32 PM
- Pride S.F. Gay Couple Throw Fund-raiser for Trans Woman's Breast Implants May 17 2013 7:18 PM
- Marriage Equality WATCH: Marriage Equality a Big Story? Not on Fox News May 17 2013 7:18 PM