OP-ED: Larry Kramer Says "I’m Being Tarred for Something I Did Not Say"

It is very difficult to take a
strong position in the gay world without being, at the least, misunderstood,
and at the most extreme, vilified mercilessly. I suppose it’s like this in the
straight world as well. Perhaps I shouldn’t bitch so when I’m taken to such
extremes as a recent quote from me in The New York Times has provoked. I have always maintained fervently
that in our world, in any world, you have to speak loudly and boldly to be
heard at all. And my loud voice, which I cherish and try to use as much as I
can to aid causes and beliefs I support, is one I wish everyone else also
possessed and used. God, whoever made us, gave us voices to use, to speak up
with. So I shouldn’t complain when my anger comes back to hit me in the face.
Usually I don’t. Usually I’m pleased when my words provoke a usually passive
population into getting off their asses and, well, using their own voice.

I am upset this time,
though, because I’m being tarred for something I did not say. And this
misstatement in my behalf is now escalating beyond sane margins and I feel the
need to step in and respond, to hopefully turn this into what I believe is
known as “a teachable moment.”

I did not say, “Larry Kramer Hates
Gay Marriage,” as the Times quote has
now allowed many bloggers around the world to revise, rewrite, and circulate
like mad bulls seeing red.

Here
is what I wrote and submitted to The New York Times:

“The
historic and cultural significance of this moment is that once again the gay
population of this country continues to accept second best. These marriages, in
whichever state, are what I call ‘feel-good marriages.’ They convey little in
the way of benefits (and in some instances they are even financially punishing
to those who embark on them). Compared to the benefits heterosexual marriages
convey, gay marriages are an embarrassment — that we should accept so little,
and with so much hoopla of excitement and self-congratulation. Most straight
people who are congratulating us so effusively don’t understand that these
marriages share none of their federal benefits and entitlements, the right to
inherit without punishing taxation, the right for our joint incomes not to be
taxed so hideously high, the right to share insurances — there are over one
thousand benefits worth money that the federal government bestows on
heterosexual marriages and which our state marriages don’t. So why do we
continue to get so excited when so few worthless crumbs are thrown our way? I
have from the beginning never understood the philosophy and tactics of our
various organizations who appear to be calling the shots on this issue. If we
are to wait for a majority of states to recognize gay marriages, we'll all be
dead. When are we going to recognize that until the Supreme Court blesses our
union, we continue to be worthless and powerless, which is the way our enemies
wish us to remain. When will we face up to the fact that no sooner does a state
grant us marriage, than our enemies immediately tie up the courts in endless
litigations to disallow them, as in the monstrous mess that has become
California. Our enemies have bottomless pockets to fight us with. It has been
discovered that the biggest contributors to the California wars are and have
been the Mormon and Catholic churches. I do not disparage any gay couple's
desire to wed in New York, or anywhere else, and in so doing feel and take joy
from this act. But let us all recognize that beyond this euphoria, these
marriages are hardly worth the paper they are printed on. And once again, I can
only raise the cry: how long are we as a people going to accept such shabby and
unequal treatment?”

This
is what The New York Times
reduced the above complicated message to:

“Larry
Kramer, the playwright and longtime gay rights activist, said that for as long
as the federal government continues not to recognize same-sex marriages, the
celebrations in New York on Sunday would be misguided.

“'These
marriages, in whichever state, are what I call feel-good marriages,' Mr. Kramer
said. 'Compared to the benefits heterosexual marriages convey, gay marriages
are an embarrassment — that we should accept so little, and with so much hoopla
of excitement and self-congratulation.'”

Now
this response of mine  has been
headlined across the globe, from Broadway to the West End, from Kenya to New
Zealand, as “Larry Kramer hates gay marriage,” followed by many commentaries
about what a crank I am, what an old fart I have become, coupled with that
classic gay insult, “and he’s so ugly,” ending with “when is he ever going to
shut up?” As I said, I’m used to this. It comes with the territory. I just wish
that all of us could read and digest and comprehend my complete statement as
above and realize what I am really saying: We are being bought off, once again,
with only a minuscule fraction of what we are entitled to as equal human beings
under our country’s Bill of Rights.

Believe
me when I say that I very much want to get married to my partner, but only when
that marriage is equal to what heterosexual marriages convey by law, the law of
the United States, and not just New York State.

And
I do not disparage those who choose to marry under the present woefully unequal
conditions. I just wish that they, and all gay people everywhere, would realize
that they are accepting so little when we are pledged so much more by and in
this one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

 Larry Kramer is a veteran gay activist, playwright, and author known for writing The Normal Heart.