Op-ed: A Christmas Remembrance

Two Christmases ago, I lost the love of my life, Missouri State Highway Patrol corporal Dennis Engelhard. For 15 years, Dennis and I supported each other like any other committed, married couple. We were embraced by our church and our community. The only thing that stopped us from getting married was that Missouri law would not allow it. We hoped to see the day when Missouri would join other states across the country in granting us the freedom to marry. Tragically, we never had that chance.
 
Dennis left for his shift on Christmas morning, kissed me goodbye, and said that he loved me. I said, “Merry Christmas. I love you too.” It was the last time we would ever speak. He was supposed to be home at 11 a.m. Instead, I received a call from his lieutenant. Dennis had been in an accident, struck by a car while attending to a highway stop in the snow. By the time I reached Dennis’s bedside, he was gone. I held his hand, surrounded by other state troopers, who all wept with me.
 
In the two years since Dennis has been gone, I have watched with joy as people across the country have been granted the ability to marry the one they love or achieve legal protections that ensure that they will be able to care for their families. But as proud as I am of these developments, my heart breaks as well, because Dennis and I were not given the chance to take care of each other should the unthinkable occur.