Stories of Love ... and Loss
BY Ross von Metzke
February 12 2009 1:00 AM ET
Joyce Croker and Joan EllinghamWhat was your first reaction when you found out
that Proposition 8 passed on Election Day?Joyce: I felt horribly betrayed and angry, but
somehow not surprised. The Prop. 8 bigots were
well-supported and well-organized. We were naive to
not have been better organized in our anti campaigns.
Joan: I was saddened that so many people wanted to
take away our rights in the name of Jesus. I hardly
think he would have approved. (I am still a practicing
If you took part in any of the Proposition 8
rallies that followed, what stands out to you as the
most memorable experience?Joyce: I attended the rally downtown rally on
November 15. It was quite moving how many people, gay
and straight of all ages and ethnicities, showed up to
support us. I don't believe I've attended a political
rally since the anti-Vietnam war protest marches of the
early '70s. It felt good and necessary to be there to
Would you ever consider moving to another state if
it were to legalize same-sex marriage?Joyce: It's more an issue of where we won't move, if
there is no domestic partnership, antidiscrimination
laws, or same-sex marriage. We own a house in the
mountains in Utah, which we use as a vacation home. As
long as they discriminate against gays, we won't consider
Joan: We believe in voting with our pocketbooks; we
aren't terribly interested in increasing the revenue
of antigay states. I am retired, and Joyce will
hopefully retire within the next five years. We'll
move to, and contribute our tax dollars to a state that
supports our marriage.
Julie and Sara Berger
What has changed the most about your life since
Proposition 8 passed in California? Since Election Day we welcomed our beautiful
triplets into our family. Samuel, Charlotte, and
Oliver were born on October 24, 2008, and they make us
want to fight even harder for our rights. Sadly, because our
marriage is not recognized on a federal level, we've had to
begin adoption proceedings for us both to be legal
parents of our kids.
What do you think the logical next step is in
legalizing same-sex marriage throughout the state? The GLBT community and our friends and family
who support us need to get better organized and angry.
We all need to be committed to get the message out
that we are normal, tax-paying, good people who deserve
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